u/standartland-sumpf

As far as i know there arent many examples of this. On a logical level i know that there should be nothing that should stop an older person from making good art and writing good stories, but on an emotional level it doesnt feel good that there is no one i can look up to. Not that it will stop me from trying but i would lie if i said it doesnt feel a bit discouraging that there arent a lot of examples of people who started late, that made stuff that is generally seen as good.

Im in Therapie for 4 years, i watch drk for 6 years, i used to call crisis lifline regularly, read philosophy, tried internal work, tried external work, tried exercising, tried focusing on my hobbies. But nothing could ever make this overwhelming misery stop

No matter what i do i cant deal with the fact that my life is just a gigantic pile of shit. My childhood and teenage years were complete torture. And my twenties were the time were i tried my best to turn it around. But no matter what i did life just keept throwing shit at me, everything from dead family memebers, broken hearts and struggles with physical health issues.

For a long time i thought my problem was that im not happy. But i realized that happiness is something i cannot expect from my self. And instead i should try to deal with unhappiness.

But how do i do that?