i feel like someone’s cringe OC
i have been feeling crazy insecure lately about being “cringe”. i have been diagnosed with DID for a year and in treatment for it for over two years. i 100% have DID. it impacts me every single day. the trauma symptoms, while much improved, are never ending and i would not wish this upon my worst enemy.
but i feel so totally ridiculous about it. like… come on man. why did it have to be DID. i feel like a middle schoolers edgy original character, complete with a comically sad back story. we used to be very covert but with treatment our presentation has become much more overt. my close friend, partner, and therapist are able to tell immediately who they’re talking to. we speak differently, dress differently, hold ourselves differently, have very different gender presentations and sexualities, and different hobbies. we have tons and tons of very visible SH scars all over our body. most of my parts are transgender and queer. most of our parts are kinky. some of our parts are poly. one of my parts is a furry for christ’s sake.
it’s just so dumb and silly how i came out. i always wanted to rise above all the shit that happened to me and become a kind, normal person who you would never guess went through all the shit i did. now i am extremely visibly mentally ill and even if i wasn’t i wouldn’t fit in anyways.
it just sucks. i wish i could get rid of it.