u/smilkcake

it’s the ONLY thing stopping me from pre ordering, and i can’t find any info on it

soft little kitty

curling up on my belly

purring days away

hey -

i’m having some trouble with a new friend, i accidentally made her feel like we’re BESTIES but now i don’t like her as much as i did at the beginning - what do i do? looking for advice from fellow rbb <3

context:

i made a new friend through this social club that I run. the club meets once a week, and she goes to all of them. a few months ago, she and i hung out one-on-one and got along GREAT, non-stop giggle fest, i felt like i met my new best friend. we exchanged texts talking about how much we valued that hangout and how excited we both were to become new friends and be in each other’s lives (i think this was mistake #1)😭

we hung out a few more times, and one time she told me about her parents and some shitty stuff they did recently - i responded like i would to anyone, saying “that’s really hard, dont beat yourself up over it, what they did is shitty, etc etc” — mistake #2...

since then, i’ve felt her really cling on to me, and want to hang out ALL the time. She also told me she is very closed off emotionally and is starting therapy, so i kinda am feeling like i unlocked something in her by being emotionally kind, and now she’s being extra clingy? i see her once a week for the club, PLUS she’s been adamant that we hang out one-on-one once a week and watch a tv show together - i tried skipping this a few times, then she sent me a long message offering me to cancel altogether if i’m too busy, but also said she really really values that alone time and would want to do something else if we cancelled it(i managed to reduce this from watching the show together for an unforseen amount of time each week, to just coffee check ins once a week)

on top of these two weekly scheduled hang outs, our other friends from the club are CONSTANTLY hosting parties, so sometimes i’ll see her 1-3x MORE per week, and even then she STILL wants to do our coffee check ins and will also text me separately, confused, if i ever message the club that I’m skipping that week

tbf - she literally did ask me if i wanted to cancel our one-on-ones but i felt sooo guilted into making it work, so i said coffee chats instead of a Sunday night 5-11p hang. so i’ll agree that was my bad and me people-pleasing

anyway - i wanted to hear all of ya’lls perspective on this, i’m feeling freaked out but i dont know if it’s because I’M the one closing myself off to friendship and people who care about me, or if she really is just butting in 😭

i’ve started feeling extra annoyed with her and like we aren’t connecting as much - esp bc of her lack of emotional awareness (her words), i feel like it’s really hard for me to be close with someone who is just beginning that journey, the whole thing with my uBPD mom is so intense and i’ve been in therapy for yeaaarrrs, i kinda need my close friends to be able to grasp that reality. she literally made a mommy issues joke to me unprompted, and i’ve so rarely talked to her about my past, it felt so tone-deaf - she’s also made obtuse jokes to our friend who’s going through an extremely abusive divorce, like making light of her situation

anyway, thanks for listening, what would you do in this situation? and am i just finding things to be annoyed by bc i dont like that someone is interested in me?