There’s currently a luncheon at my office and I’m sitting it out
We have a staff appreciation lunch at my office today. I was going to push myself to go today, even if I only pick at the food there’s usually some sort of roll and some sort of cookie at the dessert table. They were going to announce the people with significant work anniversaries and I’d fall into that category. But today I can’t do it. A coworker mentioned one of the options at the lunch will be salmon and the thought of communal salmon (buffet style serve yourself that will probably be room temp by the time I sit down) in a room full of people, hoping I can find a seat next to the coworkers I know (the cafeteria where do I sit awkwardness all over again) and then the smells of everything… I just can’t do it today. I always pack a lunch just in case thankfully.
I hated the cafeteria as a kid and could only eat certain foods in my packed lunch in that type of communal space, preferably dry foods and I hated sitting so close to others trying to eat. It’s cafeteria flashbacks all over again.
Several people have walked by my desk asking if I’m heading up to the luncheon and it’s just awkward. I feel like overall I can blend pretty well at this point in the office environment. Sometimes I wish I could “turn off” my ARFID even if just for a day or a single meal and just be normal like everyone else.