AIO, or is our Boss Truly as Awful as we Think?
I'm sorry this is such a long post, but I just really need to know whether I'm being overly-judgemental and should realize professionalism isn't universal, or if he really is as big of a problem as my coworkers and I think. Enjoy the ride!
Some context: I am 29F, and have been working in the restaurant industry across the US, for almost 14 years. I have worked in Las Vegas, scenic nowhere Nebraska, a few different states and towns across the Midwest, and now I'm in the middle of the mountains of Pennsylvania, working as a shift manager for a small pizza chain. I have held every job in a restaurant from host, to dishwasher, but my passions are in bartending, serving, and, in the past few years, front of house management and chefs training.
I give you all of this context to say I have met a LOT of restaurant managers. But, you guys, I have finally found one if the worst. I give you...Geoff. To put it best, as one of my close friends described him, Geoff is grotesque. *for context, Geoff is our General Manager* Think heavy, mid-30s, mostly bald, white guy with bad psoriasis on his legs from wearing the same socks for DAYS on end, complete with ratty gym shorts and a dirty t-shirt...that's Geoff.
Now here's where I need to know if I'm overreacting. To some people, describing his uniform alone (or lack thereof), would turn them off. But wait, there's more!
• He belches and farts all over the kitchen and never says excuse me, but instead usually laughs or makes some gross joke about it. Look, I'm far from a primadonna, but like, c'mon dude, you're the general manager, have some class.
• I don't think I've EVER seen him wash his hands, including when he was sick. (Did I mention we work in a kitchen?) I went behind along behind him the entire week he was coughing and sneezing all over everything, without him knowing, and sanitized every surface/utensil/pan that he touched...and I still got sick.
• He lies...about *EVERYTHING*. Prep and cleaning that he didn't do, drama about other employee's personal lives that definitely isn't true, excuses as to why he didn't get things done, guest complaints that were his mistake, pay, promotions, raises, days off...the list goes on.
• His sense of humor at work is abhorrent. Like, I understand ""locker room talk"", I've been "one of the guys", and although it is *mostly* guys in there, maybe still don't make jokes about "catching deez nuts" or how small your d!ck in the kitchen, to your female employees for your whole staff and lobby full of guests to hear. (It's a small pizza place and he's loud; everyone can hear everything.)
• He loves to call on his insane hypocrisy to aid him in scolding anyone under him if they happen to forget something. Like when I left out some bread overnight. I'll own it, my bad, I forgot to put the shelf-stable loaves of bread in the sealed bag in the fridge overnight. I forgot to do it, my bad. Should I mention the innumerable amount of pictures our Asst GM has of things that have been left out and messes that Geoff has left him? (It's I little petty to have so many pictures like that, but the Asst stands up to Geoff and defends everyone else, and it's appreciated, and kind of funny sometimes. Plus, he's damn good at his job.) Geoff, however, loves to talk about himself like he is food's gift to the pizza business. Geoff can do no wrong, right? He definitely hasn't been fired from the company and rehired 4 times in the past 10 years. (jk...he totally has)
★ OH! And how could I forget?! He chews...all of the time. He constantly has a huge disgusting wad of dip or a nicotine pouch in his lip, always carrying around a clear bottle of spit or spitting into the trash can *in the kitchen*!
• He retaliates against people when he's mad at them or feeling petty by cutting their hours or scheduling them on days that they have had requested off and approved for *months*. I wouldn't normally know this, as it happened to me personally, but I have awesome coworkers who asked me if I still had plans Friday because Geoff said he was going to schedule me anyway...and he did. **quote from my coworker**: "Geoff was talking sh!t about how he's gonna schedule you anyways because 'she'll work when I say she'll work' ": regardless of the fact that I have already covered multiple of his vacation days over the past 2 months so he could go out of town.
*Context*: I have birthday plans with my fiance and my in-laws for my birthday this week, and I don't have family of "my own," so this is really important to me. I requested off and was approved for this Friday & Saturday off *2 months ago* when I got hired. I have also received follow-up confirmation more than once since then to make sure both days were still fine, but guess who was still scheduled for Friday...
• About a week ago, Geoff and I were talking in the kitchen about common decency and human morality, and I shared that I strive to fill the silence with peace as opposed to chaos, and how I try to be as nice and understanding with everyone as I can because "Everyone in the world is fighting a battle you know nothing about." #BeKindAlways.
But, of course, Geoff apparently, takes great pleasure in p'ssing people off if he can get a rise out of it, & I quote "If I can make someone else miserable for my own amusement, I'm all over it. I'm an assh0le, and I'm proud of it. Like...I'm a d!ck, and I love it."
**WHO LIVES LIKE THIS?!** I'm a self-proclaimed assh0le with the best of them when I need to be, but how can someone actively live to make other people's lives worse!?! Just for fun?!
• I understand that there are 3 sides to every story, but the way he talks about his wife is just **ick**. Like, work can totally be a safe place to complain about and get away from your spouse for a little while, but when he's calling her a "stupid b!tch" and openly gaslighting her over text as amusement for himself and his employees, I'm no longer cool with it. She does seem a little overly codependent in a way that could definitely use some therapy, but that is no excuse for him to constantly demean her, ask me if he should keep her tax return from her without saying anything, and spend every moment he possibly can at work away from her, especially when he does as little as he possibly can while he's there.
• This one is probably obvious, but he's lazy. And I wouldn't mind so much if he was lazy if he didn't spend SO MUCH TIME talking about how he's not lazy while he's being forced to work (like when we're super busy), only to leave the catastrophic mess that he helped make for us to clean up. Or only does the bare minimum, makes an excuse, and then leaves.
• His greed is palpable. I've never worked in a restaurant where the GM splits tips, rounding up in his benefit, or takes tips from the occasional corporate delivery he runs that could be split amongst his employees that he claims to "care so much about", or drinks and eats things that his employees have already paid for and tries to hide it.
• Oh and did I meantion that I've been a manager at this place for over a month and I'm STILL getting paid my cook wage, despite reminding Geoff on multiple occasions to change my information in the computer. When I noticed last week that my pay stub still said my cook wage, I texted Geoff, who ignored me, and then changed the subject when I brought it up to him at work the next day. I have texted him once since then, which was also ignored, and 2 days ago, when I brought it up to him again, he said, "I'll look at it tomorrow." He has until today (our payday) to say something about it or tell me he's fixed it before I make this a much bigger scene.
And no, I'm not being sarcastic. I'm slightly autistic and I've been accused of not being able to relax in a nonprofessional setting, as well as have been told I'm expect too much from people sometimes, but this doesn't seem like too much. I just want my restaurant manager to act even a little bit like a restaurant manager.
So, am I overreacting, or is it time for a new job already?