u/seismicgear

My non-verbal autistic son has been afraid of his school bus driver for four months, and Durham is letting that driver keep his job. I submitted a fix to the Boise School District, the Mayors office, and VRT, and they ignored me. Now I built the receipt machine for Boise, for people like you and me.
▲ 76 r/Boise

My non-verbal autistic son has been afraid of his school bus driver for four months, and Durham is letting that driver keep his job. I submitted a fix to the Boise School District, the Mayors office, and VRT, and they ignored me. Now I built the receipt machine for Boise, for people like you and me.

Four months ago there was an incident on my son's school bus.

I wasn't there. My son couldn't tell me what happened, because my son is non-verbal autistic and legally disabled. The school escalated to law enforcement on their own. Their letter afterward made clear there had been concerns that needed attention.

He has been scared of the driver ever since.

That driver still operates the route. I have driven to the school every afternoon for four months to bring my son home myself. He is afraid to get on the bus. He cannot say it, but his body tells me, and I know my son. He should be able to ride the bus the district pays nearly ten million dollars a year to run safely. He cannot. So I drive.

I started reading about Durham.

The contract is $9.6 million a year, and the money leaves town.

The Boise School District contract with Durham School Services runs $9,576,661.78 a year for 117 routes serving roughly 6,000 students. District spokesman Dan Hollar confirmed that figure to KTVB when the contract was signed in February 2020. It was a five-year deal with a five-year renewal option that kicked in last July. We are ten months into a renewal that expires in 2030.

When the district picked Durham in 2020, First Student bid $728,000 lower. First Student was disqualified for not meeting staffing requirements. The district paid the premium because Durham promised more operational depth, more training positions, a dispatcher, a maintenance technician, an office clerk, etc...

The premium did not buy what it was supposed to, not even close.

Boise pays Durham $2,031 per student per year. The national average for student transportation, per the most recent NCES data, is $1,153. Boise sits 76 percent above the national average. That gap is not about Idaho diesel prices. It exists because Durham has to maintain a fleet that sits idle 20 hours a day, fund a separate dispatch operation, staff a corporate management layer in Illinois, and generate a return for the private equity firm that bought the company in July 2025.

That firm is I Squared Capital. They are based in Miami. They manage roughly $45 billion in assets. They paid an enterprise value of up to $608 million for the entire North American school bus division of Mobico Group, the UK-listed conglomerate that previously owned Durham. The division is rebranding as Summit School Services LLC. At a conservative 10 percent corporate margin, somewhere around $960,000 of Boise's annual contract leaves Ada County every year and ends up with institutional investors who have never set foot in Idaho.

Over the past decade, BSD's per-student transportation cost has risen 83 percent. Bus ridership has declined 25 percent over the same period. The district is paying nearly twice as much per kid to move fewer kids.

In August 2025, the Idaho Internet Crimes Against Children unit arrested Durham driver Brian Hendricks on seven counts of possession of Child Sexual Exploitation Material. He and his wife were also charged with four counts of Felony Injury to a Child after officers executing a search warrant found children living in unsafe, uninhabitable conditions at their home. Durham terminated his employment. BSD said they had received no prior complaints about him. He had passed Durham's background checks before they hired him.

In April 2026, the Ada County Sheriff's Special Victims Unit arrested Durham driver Kayden Peterson on four felony charges: sexual battery of a minor aged 16 or 17, sexual abuse of a child under 16, and two counts of lewd conduct with a minor under 16. He was booked into Ada County Jail on a half-million-dollar bond. The sheriff's office reported that the alleged conduct spanned 2015 to 2024 and involved a person Peterson knew outside of his employment, not a student on his route. He had been driving routes through Riverglen Junior High, Capital High School, Koelsch Elementary, and Morley Nelson Elementary in the weeks before his arrest. Per BSD's own published record, only part of his route had a bus monitor assigned. The rest had no monitor. He had also passed Durham's background checks.

Two felony arrests of Durham drivers in eight months. The third law enforcement event tied to a Durham driver was my son's, four months ago. That driver is still on the road.

This is not the first time Durham's screening has been called into question at scale. On November 21, 2016, a Durham bus carrying 37 children left the road in Chattanooga, Tennessee, rolled, and struck a tree. Six elementary school students died. The NTSB investigation (Report SIR-1802) found that Durham had no centralized complaint tracking system and had failed to act on multiple parent complaints about the driver's speeding and erratic behavior in the days leading up to the crash. Durham added cameras and a complaint database after. Boise's buses already have those cameras. They did not catch Peterson.

Durham's Google profile in Boise averages 2.1 stars across 47 reviews, and the complaints repeat themselves across years.

A parent wrote in November 2025 about a Durham driver who decided to punish kids for being rowdy. He pulled off the route, drove past their stop, and refused to let them off the bus. Twelve-year-olds were held on the bus until some of them popped the emergency exit and ran. The parent got a vague text from the school saying "your child's bus is returning to school and authorities are on the way." The same driver, the next morning, refused to pick anyone up at the stop. Twenty kids stood in the cold fog with no ride.

A parent wrote in September 2025 about a Durham driver who let her IEP student off the bus without a parent. Twice, in successive years. The same week, dispatch admitted to her husband that they had lost track of an entire GPS-equipped school bus and had to send a second one out to look for it.

A Marine veteran wrote in February 2026 about a Durham bus that stopped on Salt Creek Drive in front of West Junior High to unload students with no flashers and no stop sign. The driver's explanation was that "it's not an official stop." Idaho law says otherwise.

A parent wrote eight months ago about a Durham bus that simply didn't pick up her kindergartener at daycare. A five-year-old made to stand at a busy intersection alone until the daycare provided an adult escort, because Durham would not.

The reviews stretch back five years, and the complaints don't change. Neither does the contractor.

So I wrote a proposal.

After Peterson's arrest, I spent three days writing a 20-page transportation reform proposal.

The proposal opened with Idaho Code §33-1510, the procurement statute that governs how school districts award transportation contracts. The statute requires districts to award to the "lowest responsible bidder." Valley Regional Transit is a tax-exempt public authority. It does not have a corporate profit margin. When BSD issues its next RFP, VRT can submit a bid that structurally undercuts any private contractor on cost alone, because the math no longer has to support a return to investors in Miami.

From there the proposal covered the federal layer. 49 U.S.C. §5323(f) and 49 CFR Part 605 prohibit any transit agency receiving FTA funds from operating dedicated school bus service. The workaround is the tripper service model, codified in 49 CFR 605.11 and clarified by the FTA's 2008 Final Policy Statement. Transit agencies run enhanced public routes timed to school bell schedules, marked as public transit, stopping at regular stops, published in regular schedules, open to the general public. This model has been running for decades at Metro Transit in Minneapolis, Metro in Cincinnati, King County Metro in Seattle, and TriMet in Portland. For elementary students and special education populations that need traditional yellow bus service, the proposal recommended a ring-fenced VRT subsidiary funded only with local and state education dollars, no FTA money commingled, running dedicated routes.

The peer city numbers are the heart of the financial case. Minneapolis pays approximately $300 per student per year for transit-pass-based secondary student transportation, with a University of Minnesota study finding 85 percent savings, a 23 percent reduction in absenteeism, and 3.5 million student rides in the first year. Cincinnati went from approximately $3,000 per student to approximately $350 in their transit partnership for 7th and 8th graders, an 88 percent reduction, implemented in six months. Seattle's program is free for students because Washington State made public transit free for everyone under 18 in 2022. Portland's TriMet YouthPass costs about $300 per student. Boise pays $2,031. The savings range across these models runs 80 to 88 percent off the per-student cost.

The financial case for BSD alone comes out modest, somewhere between break-even and a couple million in annual savings, depending on how many secondary students shift to passes. The real number lives at valley scale. Boise School District plus West Ada (Durham's $85 million five-year contract, signed fall 2024) plus Nampa plus Caldwell plus Kuna plus Vallivue have combined private busing contracts above $38 million per year. A consolidated valley-wide model under VRT, operating through a Joint Powers Authority for unified fleet management, projects $7 to $15 million in annual recurring savings.

The accountability case wrote itself: two felony arrests of Durham drivers in eight months, 47 Google reviews going back five years describing the same kinds of failures, a fatal crash in Chattanooga the NTSB tied to Durham's complaint-tracking failures, an ownership trail running to a private equity firm in Miami, $960,000 a year leaving Ada County in corporate margin, a 76 percent premium over the national average per-student cost, and an 83 percent cost increase over a decade while ridership dropped 25 percent.

There was one more piece in there. In October 2025, the Kuna School District board voted unanimously to keep student transportation in-house. The vote came after forty bus drivers and staff testified against outsourcing. The district found Kuna already spent less per mile than the contracted districts around it. One board member said the people who know our kids and our roads don't need a multinational corporation to tell them how to drive a bus. Kuna is forty minutes from Boise.

I sent the proposal on April 10 to Mayor McLean's office and to Valley Regional Transit CEO Elaine Clegg. Three days later I sent it to every trustee on the Boise School Board. Each cover note was tailored to the trustee's professional background. The public health trustee got the social determinants framing. The operations deputy got the implementation roadmap. The board president got the executive summary. The newest trustee got the institutional inertia framing. I submitted it the way the system claims it wants policy submissions to arrive.

Then I waited.

The Mayor's office replied first. The City of Boise does not run VRT and does not execute school district procurement. The proposal was forwarded to policy staff.

The Board President replied within a day. He thanked me. He said I made an interesting case. He forwarded it to senior administration and the transportation supervisor.

The trustee with the public health background, appointed in October 2025 to fill a vacancy, replied within a day. He agreed that transportation is a major social driver of health. He explained that the board has a governance role and relies on the superintendent and her administrative team to consider proposals about district operations. He referred my message to the superintendent.

The Deputy Superintendent of Operations replied within a day. He thanked me. He said the district would share the proposal with the transportation supervisor, who meets regularly with VRT leadership.

Another trustee replied to confirm the chair had forwarded the document.

The sixth recipient was an automated acknowledgment.

Six people replied. Each of them forwarded the proposal further into the system. None of them engaged with what was in it. Nobody asked about the math, the peer cities, the timeline, or the tracking. The proposal went into a queue, and the queue has no public window.

The trustees were responsive and procedurally correct. The Mayor's office moved the proposal faster than most bureaucracies. The Deputy Superintendent's tone was impeccable. The architecture they work inside has a way to forward, acknowledge, and route to administrative review with no public deliberation timeline. That is what it has. That is all it has.

That was when I started counting...

There are TWELVE agencies.

The Boise School District handles enrollment, curriculum, busing procurement, special education, and discipline. Every road my son's bus drives belongs to the Ada County Highway District. Valley Regional Transit operates the public transit my secondary student could legally ride under the procurement framework in §33-1510 but does not. Long-range planning that decides whether the transit network ever expands lives at COMPASS. The City of Boise handles the council votes that fund VRT and the ordinances shaping every street within city limits. Ada County is responsible for property taxes, the sheriff that arrested Peterson, the courts hearing his case, and the GIS data defining every school boundary. The Idaho Legislature handles funding formulas, the Medicaid policy that affects funding for the school-based services my son receives under his IEP, the transportation reimbursement bills, and the session I walked you through. ICAC sits at the Attorney General's office. Medicaid policy and provider licensing sit at the Department of Health and Welfare. Charter authorization and curriculum standards sit at the State Board of Education. Air quality alerts that determine whether recess gets canceled come from the National Weather Service. Federal Safe Routes to School funding flows through the Idaho Transportation Department.

That is twelve agencies. There are more.

Every one of them runs its own website, login system, data portal, calendar, public records process, and update schedule. Some publish in real time. Others publish weekly or monthly. A few never publish at all, and a few publish only in formats an attorney can read.

A motivated, civically engaged parent (and most of us cannot afford to be that) cannot reliably track what is happening to their own kid across twelve agencies. The information is technically public and functionally fragmented to the point of inaccessibility. That fragmentation is what the federal lobbying class pays subscriptions to navigate. No equivalent local subscription existed in Boise because no local civic-information layer existed.

So I built one.

It is called The Relay.

You type a question in plain English. It answers from a continuously refreshed knowledge base pulled from the core Boise civic feeds...

The Ada County Highway District, the City of Boise, Ada County GIS, COMPASS, the Idaho Legislature via LegiScan, Valley Regional Transit, the National Weather Service, OpenAQ, and BoiseDev. Every answer cites its sources. Every citation links to the agency's own page so you can verify the receipt with one click. If the data isn't there, the tool says it doesn't know rather than making something up.

This is the first version. The coverage is the core civic infrastructure. The school district, the state health and welfare apparatus, and the criminal enforcement layer are not in yet. They are on the roadmap as the schema and the ingestion permits expand.

Use it on the thing that pissed you off most this year.

Ask it what road projects ACHD has active right now near your kid's school. Ask it what just passed at the Statehouse. Ask it which Idaho bills could affect Boise housing or local government. Ask it what the City Council voted on at its last meeting. Ask it when the next City Council meeting is. Ask it what the air quality reading is right now. Ask it which VRT routes serve your neighborhood. Ask it which Ada County precinct you vote in.

It is free. It does not ask for a login, does not track you, does not build a profile. There is a 30-message cap per day so the tool can't be scraped or hammered, and so you have a reason to share it with a neighbor instead of hoarding it.

Every answer ends with a sources block listing the agency name, the last refresh time in Boise local time, and the direct URL. The Data Integrity Status panel built into the tool shows you which feeds are healthy and which are degraded. The tool is transparent about its own failures.

The information was always public. The agencies just buried it across a dozen different websites that don't talk to each other.

The Boise School Board trustee election is September 1, 2026. Three seats are open.

Nancy Gregory's seat has no incumbent. She is leaving the board after 23 years to run for State Senate. Krista Hasler holds a two-year term from 2024 and must run again to keep it. Alejandro Necochea was appointed in October 2025 to fill Maria Greeley's vacancy after Greeley resigned and moved to Singapore, and he has to run as well.

The filing deadline is the ninth Friday before the September election. That puts it on July 3, 2026.

Fifty-four days from today.

Anyone 18 or older who is a registered voter in the district can file, as long as they have no financial interest in any district contract. The board meets monthly.

My son is still afraid of his bus driver. I will still drive to the school tomorrow afternoon to bring him home.

The filing deadline is July 3rd.

thefutureparty.org
u/seismicgear — 3 days ago

if u found this by clicking the glitter skull in my sig then dont close the window yet bc it already knows ur screenname ^_^

not the new one either. the first one. the one with the underscores. the one u made when u thought wolves were a personality and passwords were allowed 2 be “dragon12” bc nobody had invented consequences yet :3

i am posting this from the corner booth of a closed pizza parlor inside a habbo hotel room that got moved behind the furni wall after the pool incident. if u ask what pool incident i will know u r not from here and the chairs will rotate toward u >_>

do not touch the hc sofa. do not sit in the throne. do not click the banner that says FREE GOLD unless u have already made peace with ur neopets. do not accept trades from any1 named Trimz, xxTrimzxx, xXTrimLordXx, or definitely_not_kyle. kyle is not a person. kyle is a recurring login failure. kyle is what happens when u type “lol” with no face and press enter during a thunderstorm.

yesterday the guild bank blinked twice and spat out 17 angelic halos, a bronze med helm, three dead dragon eggs, and a txt file called EMOTES_FINAL_REAL_USE_THIS_ONE.txt. nobody opened it bc LordRaven said “dont” and then immediately changed his custom title to “i warned u -_-” which means he opened it. now the staff board smells like warm plastic and every locked thread has begun whispering “rawr” at 3:33am.

this is fine :)

the new people keep arriving with glossy little skulls in their pockets like 💀💀💀 and they keep dropping them under posts where nobody died, which is how the old rooms get hungry. u cant just leave bones everywhere and expect the chatterbox not 2 notice. the chatterbox eats irony. the chatterbox remembers ur first avi. the chatterbox still has the screenshot of u saying “i dont care about top 8” six minutes after making a bulletin called “some ppl show their true colors :/”

i fed one of the skulls 2 a forum signature last night and it turned into xD but capitalized wrong so now it screams XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD whenever someone types “real.” please stop typing real. the walls are thin. the admin sleeps behind the photobucket error image and he has a banhammer made of expired bandwidth.

do not quote this post. if u quote it the bbcode will nest and the nest will hatch.

[quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote]
u have been warned ^_^
[/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote]

see? now ur cursor has whiskers.

=^_^=

dont panic. if the cursor meows, refresh. if the refresh button turns into a tiny construction worker gif, unplug the router and say “brb dinner” three times. if ur mom answers from the dial-up tone, do not reply. that is not ur mom. ur mom is downstairs asking why the computer has 43 toolbars and why there is a purple gorilla giving weather updates.

bonzi said he could help but bonzi also said the rune plate was safe so bonzi can stay in the recycle bin with kazaa and the song file named Evanescence_BringMeToLife_REAL_no_virus.exe. if the file starts playing anyway, let it finish. interrupting mid-chorus opens the myspace layer.

i have been in the myspace layer once.

everything glittered.

there was no sun.

only autoplay.

a girl with five top friends and one empty slot asked me “who moved me?” and i said “idk :S” which was a mistake because idk is a weak offering and :S is only good against mall drama, not ranking curses. she opened her profile song and out came a thousand tiny away messages flapping like bats:

dont ask </3
brb shower ^.^
u know what u did -_-
call after 9
single but not alone
music = life
if u care prove it
rawr means i love u in dinosaur xD

one landed on my shoulder and whispered “k.” not “ok.” not “ok :)” not “kk.” just “k.” i still have the scar.

anyway the new ones dont know about k. they think silence is bad. adorable. silence is fine. silence is a lobby with no staff. k is a blade with lowercase edges.

if u receive k, do not answer immediately. first consult the chart.

k + no face = dead thread
k :) = trap
k :P = survivable
k ^*^ = false spring
k -*- = pack ur things
k <3 = wedding or murder, depends on font
k rawr = unplug everything

someone tried 2 update the chart with emoji and the printer jammed in 2007. now every office depot in a 30 mile radius prints only “o_O” on legal paper. this is why we cant have nice things.

the runescape bank is under the carpet now. lift the corner near the lava lamp and say “buying gf 10k” but not in a sincere way. a banker will appear and ask for ur childhood pet’s name. do not tell him. that is not security. that is fishing. not phishing. fishing. old kind. with shrimp. also jesus is there but he has too many fingers so dont look directly at the hands.

i looked once and my gaia inventory rearranged itself alphabetically by regret.

angelbow
ancient katana
apology not sent
broken promise
charcoal sketch of wolf oc
crush away message 10:47pm
dead dragon egg
gwee
mom yelling downstairs
nightmare scarf
rune platebody, trimmed emotionally
screenshot_evidence_final2.png
trust issue
xD

i tried to sell the trust issue for 2k but the marketplace said “listing failed: item soulbound.” typical.

u can trade almost anything except a bad username and the memory of thinking “epic fail” was the highest form of comedy. those follow u. i saw a man with a mortgage type “le sigh” in a slack channel and every fluorescent light in the building flickered. he knows. he will deny it. but he knows.

the private board under the private board has reopened. not the staff board. deeper. the one called “old stuff do not delete” where the avatars still blink even though imageshack died. the thread on top says “about what happened” and it has 18,442 replies. nobody has posted since 2009 but the view count went up this morning after someone in general typed “vibes.”

inside the thread everyone is still there.

xXAkiraXx is still saying she is leaving 4 real this time.
NeonPanda is still making banners.
LordRaven is still disappointed.
KawaiiVoid is still back after leaving.
TechnoMuffin is still trying 2 keep peace.
ShadowFang still unsheathes his chaos katana with no cooldown.
Kyle still says “lol.”
Kyle is still banned.
Kyle is still posting.

time does not pass in locked threads. it curdles.

i asked the thread what year it was and it replied “page stretch.” then somebody pasted a 4000px glitter divider and my phone started vibrating even though it is a razr and the battery has been dead since bush was president. not saying which bush. dont ask political questions in spam. last time somebody did that the libertarian board opened and we lost three good posters to a 46-page argument about seatbelts.

pls keep all ideology in serious discussion where it can be ignored properly :]

also whoever keeps saying “let him cook” near the guild oven needs 2 stop bc the chef npc has begun rendering in 32-bit and asking for a mortgage-backed security. i dont know what that is but he keeps stuffing them into the omelette and now the giant omelette tastes like foreclosure and yellow plastic.

there is a penguin at table 4 saying “waddle on” in a voice that sounds like a fax machine drowning. he has a briefcase. he says the iceberg is underwater on purpose. he says membership is required to continue feeling joy. i told him i only have neopoints and one untrimmed rune scimmy. he said “bobba.” wrong hotel. bad omen.

if the penguin asks u 2 join his agency, say no. secret agents never recovered from the filter wars. half of them still whisper “tip the iceberg” into vents. the other half became discord mods and now patrol announcement channels with custom bot commands. same energy, worse uniforms.

the furniture started moving again after midnight. just little shifts at first. a lodge corner here. a plasto chair there. then the throne turned toward the door. i said “:|” and the throne said “:V” which is not a good sign. :V is not a face u want from furniture. :V means facebook comment section breach. :v means it has already made a minion meme.

i threw (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ at it but the table came back wrong.

┬─┬ノ( º _ ºノ)

too polite.

haunted.

never trust a table that forgives u before the mod team does.

the txt file keeps updating. i didnt open it but i can see the preview in windows explorer because the machine is cursed and vista wants me 2 suffer. it says:

:) :-) =) =] :] :} :> :D :-D =D 8D B-D xD XD XDDDD :P :-P =P xP ;P ^*^ ^.^ ^-^ ^^ ^^; ^*^; ^///^ >///< :3 =3 x3 X3 >:3 >:D ;*; ;-; T_T T.T TT_TT Q_Q qq ;w; TwT QAQ QwQ D: D:< DX D; O_O o_O O_o 0_0 @__@ >*> <*< >.> <.< -*- -.- =*= =.= ¬*¬ ಠ_ಠ ಠ益ಠ orz OTL x_x X_X \o/ o/ o7 rawr rawr xD <3 </3 =^_^= =^.^= OwO uwu UwU owo >w< (づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ (。♥‿♥。) (╬ಠ益ಠ)

after that the preview says “more...” but there should not be more. there is always more. that is how u know the archive is alive.

i tried 2 drag it to trash and windows asked if i wanted to permanently delete “childhood.” i clicked no. im not stupid. i clicked cancel. cancel opened internet explorer. internet explorer opened ask jeeves. jeeves looked tired.

he asked “did u mean: why does everything feel fake now?”

i typed “no”

he typed “lol”

no face.

i closed the laptop.

the laptop was a desktop.

dont worry about it.

someone knocked on the case from inside the tower and said “first.” then “second.” then “who watching in 2009?” then “thumbs up if ur still listening.” then “fake.” then “song name?” then “gay.” then “no u.” then “reported.” then the cd tray opened and a tiny rage face crawled out wearing a sandwich board that said Y U NO UPDATE FLASH.

i gave him a dorito. he screamed FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF and ran into the vents.

normal tuesday.

the new ones keep asking where the rules are. the rules are everywhere. the rules are in the sticky. the rules are in the sig. the rules are in the secret word. the rules are in the fact that everyone knows not to trust an account made today with 0 posts and a wolf avatar already uploaded. the rules are in the silence after someone says “can i be mod?” the rules are in the difference between “lol” and “lol xD.” the rules are in the way a thread gets quiet when an admin appears online but invisible. the rules are in the chair facing the wrong direction.

read the room.

the room read u first.

i went 2 the spam board and posted “last poster wins ^_^” and immediately won for 4 seconds, which is the longest anyone has held power without becoming corrupt. then kyle replied “no.” then an account named KyleIsGone replied “no u.” then staff replied “kyle.” then kyle replied “what.” then kyle got banned. then the ban message got banned. then the word kyle became bobba. then every chair in habbo rotated again.

bobba is not censorship. bobba is a weather system.

u can smell it before it arrives. warm pixels. wet carpet. school computer lab keyboard. axe body spray. old pennies. vending machine honey bun. dragon forum theme.

if u smell bobba, log out and do not save ur password.

if u already saved ur password, change ur password.

if ur password is still dragon12, the sofa has u.

the sofa had me once.

inside the sofa there is a smaller hotel where every room is called “need gf” and every avatar is sitting on the floor because all furni was scammed in 2006. they asked if i had hc. i said no. they asked if i had credits. i said no. they asked if i had any rares. i said “only emotional damage.” they said “trade.” i accepted. the window opened. they offered one duck. i offered </3. trade accepted.

bad trade tbh.

the duck follows me now.

it quacks “XD” whenever someone says “deadass.”

pls stop saying deadass near the duck.

i am not mad. i am typing this calmly. :]

:]
:]
:]

that is not a smile btw. that is a door.

do not open bracket smiles after midnight. :] lets the forum teeth show.

:} is worse. :} knows ur home phone number.

:> has seen the staff board.

:) is fine unless sent by a moderator.

:-) means mom found facebook.

=) means maybe safe.

=] means youth pastor AIM energy.

:D means joy.

=D means joy but glitter.

8D means the goggles are on.

B-D means somebody is about to say “deal with it” and paste sunglasses ascii.

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

YEEEEAAAAAAH but the audio is midi and delayed by 3 seconds.

the narwhal came by earlier. yes that one. dont say the line. if u say the line, the bacon board opens and all the ancient redditors crawl out saying “this” and “so much this” and “i also choose this guy’s wife” until the comment tree collapses under its own smug. one of them still has gold. not reddit gold. real fake gold. the kind that said someone spent money to make u feel seen for posting a rage comic about cereal.

he asked me if the narwhal still bacons. i said “no.” he said “good.” then he dissolved into a cloud of upvotes shaped like a fedora.

some mercy remains in the world.

but the digg refugees are restless. they keep scratching at the login page. if they get in, the front page will turn blue and every headline will become “top 10 reasons this changes everything.” protect the captcha. the captcha is old but loyal. it still asks u to type wavy letters like gR7mQp and honestly i miss it. at least the robot had 2 work.

now the robot writes the post, comments “so true,” reports the reply, makes a podcast, sells a course, and buys the sofa.

&gt; _>

the sofa again.

do not trust the sofa.

i found a message carved under it:

“if ur reading this, ur in my top 8”

there were eight names.

seven were scratched out.

the eighth was loading.

i waited.

it loaded my current profile pic.

not the good one.

the old one.

the angle-from-above one.

the one with the hair. the one where i thought contrast meant making everything blue. the one with the caption “bored :P.” the one that got two comments and one was from mom.

beneath it someone had written:

“nice pic ^_^”

i stared at it for too long and the room changed.

suddenly i was in a graphics shop. red/black grunge background. sasuke render. scanlines. slots open. payments accepted. text examples: broken but breathing, trust no one, music saved me, mess with the best die like the rest. the shop owner said “what text?” i said “i dont know.” she said “then why are u here?” i said “i clicked a glitter divider.” she said “same.” then she handed me a banner that said:

CERTIFIED ELDER WEIRDO
joined before the skulls
mood: buffering
rawr xD

i tried 2 say thank u but it came out as “tysm ^_^ <3” because some places change ur language before u notice.

this is why u must keep one plain text file on every machine. something real. something ugly. notes.txt. passwords_NOT_REAL.txt. emotes.txt. the file is a candle. the file is a map. the file is how u return.

mine says:

dont send k
dont trust trim
dont feed kyle
dont open nostalgia after 2am
dont let the new faces know they r new
dont explain the old faces
dont say the joke
use the joke
be the cursed post u wish 2 see in the feed
if lost, type ^_^ and wait

so i waited.

a hand came through the monitor.

not scary.

pixelated.

wearing striped armwarmers.

it typed “u ok?”

i typed “ya”

it typed “u sure?”

i typed “ya :/”

it typed “k”

the room went cold.

then it typed “jk xD”

and the sun came back.

do not underestimate punctuation. punctuation raised us because the adults were busy forwarding chain emails about microsoft paying u for each person u loved.

i got one yesterday. impossible because the account died in 2011. subject line:

FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: READ OR SHE WILL APPEAR

inside was a powerpoint of cats, one angel, one american flag, six fonts, and at the end:

send 2 10 ppl or ur close friends list will become ur top 8 and everyone will see who u moved.

i forwarded it.

not proud.

not risking it.

some curses are stupid enough to be real.

like “post this in ur sig if ur the 8% who would yell DO A FLIP.” i saw that yesterday too. on a linkedin bio. no one else noticed. i did. the old code leaks through the drywall sometimes. a VP of operations says “epic fail” in a quarterly meeting and somewhere a rage comic smiles. a dentist writes “LOL” in all caps and a forum mod wakes from cryosleep. a senator says “the internet is a series of tubes” and honestly, for once, correct. the tubes are full of ducks, skulls, glitter, and kyle.

mostly kyle.

kyle posted again.

he said “this is cringe.”

the thread went silent.

not because he was wrong.

because saying cringe in the cringe room is like lighting a match in a gas leak.

LordRaven appeared.

just the avatar at first. black dragon, red eyes, 100x100, badly compressed.

then the custom title:

seen it all

then the post:

“we know.”

then nothing.

kyle replied “lol.”

dry.

bare.

unfaced.

the chairs screamed.

the duck exploded.

the sofa opened.

every away message in the room changed to “dont ask.”

the pool reopened for one second and inside was not water but a loading bar.

97%.

98%.

99%.

connection lost.

x_x

when i came back, the new skull children were still there, tapping 💀 under everything. one of them said “why is this app so weird.” another said “is this satire.” another said “i’m not reading all that.” another said “bro cooked.” another said “what.”

good.

what is the door.

confusion is the lobby.

if u understand, u already paid the toll.

if u dont, click the dragon egg in my sig.

pls.

it will die ;_;

i can hear the eggs.

they are hungry.

they say “bump.”

bump ^_^
bump xD
bump :3
bump </3
bump because page 2 is death
bump because the marketplace closed
bump because the sofa moved
bump because someone said real again
bump because no one comments anymore unless the machine recommends it
bump because kyle found a proxy
bump because rawr
bump because i forgot what thread this was
bump because if the post sinks, the old rooms flood
bump because the pool is closed
bump because the pool is open
bump because neither is true

i have 7% battery and no charger. the charger is proprietary. everything was proprietary. the future pretended to fix this then invented seventeen new cables and called it innovation. very cool :/

if this cuts off, continue the ritual in lowercase. no clean formatting. no headings. no bullet points. no explanations. feed the faces only what they ask for. if a yellow skull appears, wrap it in xD and bury it beneath a broken photobucket link. if a crying emoji asks for a name, give it ;*; but not T_T. T_T is too strong. if someone asks what rawr means, smile and say nothing. if someone says “use your words,” send >*>. if they persist, send <_<. if they still persist, send ಠ_ಠ and log off.

logging off is not leaving.

away is not gone.

idle is not asleep.

deleted is not dead.

locked is not over.

archived is where the thing grows teeth.

the admin is typing.

the admin has been typing for 17 years.

the admin posts:

“keep it civil :)”

everyone dies.

x_x

then revives.

\o/

then salutes.

o7

then one tiny message appears from an account with no avatar, join date 1969, post count -1, location “under construction,” mood “ask jeeves,” currently listening to “track 03,” signature “bandwidth exceeded.”

it says:

rawr xD <3

reddit.com
u/seismicgear — 10 days ago

I'm building a new social media platform.

A real one. What we have right now is so painfully broken, and I'm tired of pretending it isn't an absolute dumpster fire.

The feed isn't your friends anymore. It's whatever the algorithm thinks will keep you scrolling for another 30 seconds. You went looking for your sister's baby photos and got served three rage-bait political posts, two influencers selling illegal supplements, and an AI-generated picture of Jesus made of shrimp with a top-hat. Your actual friends and the things we ALL CARE ABOUT are buried four screens down between 500 ads and a video about Trump or fucking Israel.

Search is broken. Try finding a post you wrote three years ago without scrolling for half an hour. Try finding the friend you met at that conference 4 years ago. Try finding anything specific. Anything at all. The platforms that became the archives of our lives have lost the ability to retrieve our lives, and they don't even care because it means you have to scroll more fucking ads.

Notifications are designed to drag you back in to look at rage bait, not inform you. "You appeared in 17 searches this week." Cool. Didn't ask. Don't care. Never did.

Stop emailing me about my own birthday! I know when my fucking birthday is!

Job platforms are a wasteland. LinkedIn and other platforms job postings are FAKE AF. Real businesses can't get verified. Indeed flagged my LLC as fraud and made me video-call someone who could barely speak English. Meanwhile every recruiter spam DM and AI-generated thought-leadership post slides through untouched.

Harassment reports go nowhere. I filed a clean, documented harassment report on LinkedIn last month. Got the same templated reply for 30 days. The libel is still up. The platform's escalation system is a script wearing a person's initials which we all know is an AI bot.

The AI slop. God, the AI slop. Please make it stop. Even I am guilty of this shit.

The entire internet is now half AI-generated humble-brag posts written by people who don't know what their own company does or what their post even is trying to say. Facebook's feed is bot-farmed engagement bait. Twitter is reply-guys that are clearly LLMs running on someone's stolen API keys. Dating apps are catfish photos generated in 30 seconds. Job applications are AI cover letters being read by AI screeners with humans nowhere in sight.

We didn't sign up for this. We signed up to talk to each other.

The dead internet isn't a theory anymore. It's the product. Every fucking platform is racing to put MORE of it in front of you, because engagement metrics don't distinguish between a real person being moved and a AI SLOP bot farm clicking through to a Temu ad made from slave labor!

I'm done...

What would it take for you to actually switch? Not "what features sound cool" What is the daily pain that, if a new platform fixed it, would make you delete the apps you have and never look back?

Tell me what you hate. Tell me what you miss. Tell me the moment you realized the platform you were on was no longer for you. Tell me what the platforms got right before they ruined it.

I'm reading every single reply. I want to fix this. Please god.

reddit.com
u/seismicgear — 11 days ago