The difficulty of deconstructing the narc parent's mentality
Like a lot of people my narc mother never taught me anything, but at the same time she made me think she didn't need to learn anything from anyone. It really has put me embarrassingly behind. She has both a superiority and inferiority complex at the exact same time. I can even look back on how I did horribly in school until I taught myself how to "learn" and that wasn't until my senior year of college! School was very hard for me because I was embarrassed to learn basically.
She's always the victim, but she also knows everything. She would get very offended when she thought I was telling her anything. She required me to use certain language when speaking my mind to her or telling her anything.
Sometimes i think to myself "why have I been taught that some people are beneath me, but they have more than me, know more than me, and are doing better than me in life". Now success isn't a one size fits all shoe, and I know there are people that got where they are by stepping on people, so I'm not talking about them clearly, but I was taught to always speak proper english, ect, but I have seen that those things don't matter at all.
I was also taught nothing about housekeeping, hygiene, social skills, finances, anything that you can think of that could make a person a successful adult I was not taught, but superiority/inferiority complex was very ingrained in me. I've always wondered about this. It has caused some cognitive dissonance. I was also angry. I've had to unlearn and am still unlearning all the judgement that I put on people, because tbh it would be delusional to think i can look down upon people. This is a consequence of being raised by a narc. The sick mental games they infect on their children. This is another difficult part of deconstructed being raised by a narcissist.