autism + relationships
Hello! I am self diagnosed after my children both received a confirmed diagnosis. However, everything about me aligns with a high masking autistic woman. That aside, this is the first time in my life i’m in a relationship where autism is acknowledged, and plays somewhat of a role. I’m no longer with my kids dad, and my new partner is aware of my self diagnosis. It’s been freeing in some ways, because I don’t feel the need to mask and that makes me feel safer since he’s seeing the “real” me.
However, lately I feel like it’s causing issues?! My bf is neurodivergent as well (ADHD), and i’ve always kept it in the back of my mind that he has different struggles as well so I try not to take everything personally. Lately we’ve kind of been in a slump. We’re 5 months from our 2 year anniversary, and my pattern recognition skills are in overload right now. I feel like he’s pulling away, and I keep bringing up examples to him of ways that his behavior is changing. He reassured me last week that everything was fine, and he isn’t leaving me. I’ve been wrongly diagnosed with BPD in the past, but the emotional pain right now is killing me and making me feel like HEY, maybe that diagnosis wasn’t so wrong? Irrelevant I guess. But yeah. I’m losing my mind.
I can’t stop researching relationships, milestones, stupid articles like, “Ten Signs your Partner is ‘Quiet Quitting’ the Relationship”. I feel like i’m going insane. He suggested we get counseling last week because of my feelings, which I shot down because it seems silly to do that in a 1.5 year relationship?! I don’t know what to do. Every time i try to explain to him that my pattern recognition and his behavior is why i’m feeling this way, he tells me i’m thinking too much and that my brain is doing this to me. Maybe. I still can’t help feeling like I’m about to be abandoned shortly.