Am I wrong for not seeing my father regularly because of his girlfriend?
To preface, this is my very first reddit post and english is not my native language.
I (18/f) need a little help with a situation I'm dealing with on the family front. My parents (40/f and 49/m) have been divorced since my younger sister (15/f) and I have been little. Both of them have moved on and have new partners. The problem is my fathers girfriend, (52/f) of almost 10 years. She has been an issue ever since she came into the family. The issues began with hertelling my sister and I lies about our mother and how she kept our father from calling us when we were on vacation.
This caused a giant fight between my parents, causing them to go from amicably coparenting and speaking to one another normally, to going to only speaking through lawyers about the child support and alimony.
Until that point, us kids had absolutely no issue with her. The issues started gradually and got worse. They started with her being overly strict on cleanliness and order. Overly strict meaning, we werent allowed to touch the kitchen cabinets because we would leave behind fingerprints. This was annoying, yet managable. Over the time, both my sister and I noticed, an increasing amount of tantrums/freak outs from her, always in connection to alcohol. With tantrum I mean yelling/screaming, insulting people (mainly my father) and even occasionally throwing things. The worst one I can remember being ast his house for is when she threw wineglasses into the dishwasher so hard, that she broke said dishwasher. All the while she insulted both my sister and I, plus our father. She also regularly threatens to kick my father out of her house.
My father is a very chill man with a "I couldn't care less" attitude. When she has these fits, he usually just laughs it off, saying things like: "yeah,yeah, sure you will" and "whatever you say"
I, on the other hand am not very fond of confrontation. I hate nothing more than people yelling and she quite frankly scares the fuck out of me when she is like that. I pretty much shut down when people yell and cry, since I am very prone to tears.
Another big issue with her is money. She often claimed my mother would unnecessarily use the child support he gives her and even got my father to take my mother to court for it. They didn't win if that matters, the opposite actually because he had to pay the same amount of child support, plus half of every school related expense
That is the reason why for the last two years I have only very rarely seen my father and have only been to his place where his girlfriend is maybe twice. I try to avoid her as much as possible, since she isn't a very pleasant person to be around when she is sober.
I've always felt very guilty about not seeing him as much anymore, since I used to see him every other weekend before and now barely see him 4 times a year. I have always been something of a "daddy's girl", meaning I always got along great with my dad and bonded with him a lot over different things. I love him dearly and wish I could see him more.
So now I would like some opinions from you guys. Should i feel guilty for seeing him less? Should I just suck it up and go see him regardless of his horrid girlfriend? I honestly feel a bit stuck between a rock and a hard place and would love advice/opinions.