u/rosalialilyy

Realtalk: Ich selbst kehrte Booktok vor einem Jahr den Rücken, weil diese ganzen Dramen, Farbschnitte überall, aber null Inhalt, nur Konsum und Konkurrenzkampf bezüglich wer wie viel am schnellsten liest, mich nervten und mir die Lust am lesen nahmen.

Ich ließ mich auch etwas zu sehr davon beeinflussen.

I need something to show me that life will eventually really get better and even if it’s only a shift in my mindset and how I see everything. Any genre. Can be fiction or self-help

I feel like I’m never the chosen one, even in friendships

I feel lonely and always overlooked.

Sorry, I have the urge to tell this to someone because I feel like no one listens or sees me, but I don’t have anyone to talk to, my phone is so dry. That’s why I’m here.

Sorry if this isn’t the right sub.

Do you have experience with situations like this and have you overcome them and how?

Seven months ago two other girls and me started at this new job, we are all from somewhere else and everyone live here at the workplace. After two months of working here and us three being inseparable I had to go to school and the other didn’t (we all get told different times when we have to attend). I had to leave work for 10 weeks and I was scared of this before even going because I had the fear of it all changing when I come back, because they stayed there for the ten weeks and worked together.

They reassured me that everything will be okay.

Now I have been back for three months and I’ve noticed a shift.

They are always together, they notice me less. They are insaparable. I’m just there and feel overlooked.

I try to keep the connection up, but they don’t do the same for me.

I feel so lonely and not even noticed from them.

Should I just accept my loneliness and not take anymore steps towards them?

It hurts so much.

And this is not the first time that something like this happened in my life.

I’m always there, but never chosen and I feel like it wouldn’t even matter if I wouldn’t be here tomorrow.

It’s like I’m a ghost in a room full of people.

Every single day.

I had an event at work the other day where we all could invite family members of ours and this event only occurs once a year and idk if my grandma and grandpa will come next year.

My work and current home is 4 hours away from them (from my home) and my Mom, Granny and Grandpa drove 4 hours to visit me for one night.

I had to work the day they arrived because we threw the event for them, it was interactive and our workday started at 12 midday and ended at 11:30 p.m. and our family already got to the afterparty at 10/10:30 p.m.

So my family had to wait an hour for me. Then I ran home to shower, change and got to them at around 11:45 p.m.

There was a photobox and my grandma wanted to take a picture, but I didn’t want to, because I don’t really know why and now I regret it sooo much, because I haven’t been home for 2,5 months, they were here for me and I didn’t want to take a damn picture even though I don’t see them often.

And I regret it even more, because later that night I took a picture with my colleagues and I have this picture and I just can’t look at it, I had to put it away, because it reminds me how I fucked up and how teary it makes me that I once again didn’t want to just take a picture to have a sweet memory.

I regret it so much