I relapsed while my partner is in the hospital
I'm not sure what to do. My partner of over a year has been in the hospital for 4, almost 5 days with unexplained severe pain. I was the one who brought her in to the ER and have been by her side for the majority of this.
After the second day, I broke down. One of the worst break downs I've had since I was a young teenager. Screaming and crying and hitting my head on the steering wheel of my car in the parking lot.
I got home and cut myself. I feel so ashamed but I keep doing it every night. I think it's me seeking control over something right now.
I know she's going to see it sooner or later, I know I should tell her before she does. I don't want to tell her while she's in the hospital but I don't know if I'll get a chance to before she spots it.
I don't know what to do.