Something Clicked
A switch has been thrown. One of those heavy, industrial panel light switches that stick out off the wall and you struggle with. The kind that make a loud sound when you turn them on.
Click!
And you know when you've turned it on.
When did it happen exactly?
It was a slow, sudden awareness of an arm. Looking at it, I thought.
"Oh... oh wow, he must work out."
And found my eyes tracing along, and finding a strange and unexpected heat.
"Uh oh."
Picking up an unwanted attraction feels awkward. Especially in having a history as the ugly girl, who it was fun to joke about having a crush on, because the very concept was just hilarious and vomit inducing.
But I'm an adult now.
With grown lady feelings and desires.
Right now, contemplating that I should shove them back down.
Instead, I almost feel like dropping that pencil on the floor between us. Just so I've got an excuse to bend over, and pick it up between my teeth, and look up at you with my bright red lipstick and go:
"Hey buddy, did ya drop somethin'?"