i think i might be demisexual and i’m kind of freaking out?
I’ve identified as aroace for many years already. I’m certain that I’m aromantic but I’ve recently been having second thoughts about my asexuality. I’m currently in a queerplatonic relationship with my partner who is also aroace and for the past few months I’ve noticed that I started to feel a bit differently towards him that it isn’t romantic attraction.
I’m not a very touchy person, I’m not a huge fan of any sort of physical contact, but when it’s with him it’s just different. Beyond hugging or platonic cuddling I’ve recently had urges or thoughts of wanting to be more physically intimate with him and it’s bothering me a lot to the point I regularly find myself wondering about it. We often do a lot of flirting over text that’s honestly just borderline sexting (without pictures), and recently I found it really hard to try to keep up because I just get flooded with all these urges that weren’t present before we became partners and I feel immensely guilty about potentially harbouring sexual attraction towards him.
Now I wonder if I’m demisexual because I’ve never felt this way towards anyone else except for him nor have I ever been as curious about sex as now. I most likely am, but I’m scared of admitting to having these kinds of feelings towards him because it might change our relationship. I don’t even know if I necessarily want to act on my feelings because of my crippling gender dysphoria.