Found out she has been talking me down the entire time
CW: suicide
Just recently found out from my partner that my MIL has been discouraging him from our relationship for as long as we have been together. If he has talked to her through any of our spats, she has told him he should just leave and "come home" (home being to her, and not the home we share?). He took my vehicle to one of his friends to put tint on the window and took the car seat out and then wasn't able to get it back in, and I was frustrated because I had really struggled to get it in initially. Apparently she heard the phone call and said she would never allow someone to speak to her in that capacity and he should leave me. I have reflected on that day many times over, and although I was frustrated, I did not yell, I did not name call, I did not speak sharply. I spoke as someone who was frustrated, sure, but I feel like she vastly overreacted. This is also coming from a woman who told her own son he should kill himself when he was at one of his lowest points, so pretty rich to say that you wouldn't allow someone to speak to you that way when you have said unforgivable things. When he told her that he wanted to marry me, she said that he was moving too fast and discouraged him from moving forward with a proposal. Recently, we went out for dinner with his parents and mine, I paid for everyone. I asked him what he wanted, and he wanted the same thing I did, and it was something our daughter also likes, so I suggested we order a dinner combo for two. I had a gastric sleeve and can eat very little, he has a larger appetite, and our daughter is 3, so I thought this was a sensible option. Apparently she spoke to him after the dinner and said that I am taking his voice away. We both thought the dinner went very well, and I guess he said to her that he doesn't understand where that was coming from and she refused to elaborate but said again she thinks I take his voice away and don't let him have autonomy. We are not close, she lives in another city and has made really no effort to form a relationship with me, and he is already pretty low contact. She doesn't put effort into their relationship either. He maintains minimal contact but doesn't want to entirely sever their relationship. I won't ask that of him either. When we do see her, she is nice to me and has given no indication that she takes issue with me. I guess I just needed to scream into the void. I really didn't have respect for her knowing how she treated my partner as a child anyways, but I hate that she is so nice to my face while scrutinizing everything I do behind the scenes. She really is a vile woman.. which I already knew.. but adds ammo to the arsenal.