Red flags or amateur behaviour?
Before I start, I'll say I'm sorry for posting what probably involves some pretty bog standard issues but I'm new to BDSM and would really appreciate some advice.
I (25) have seen a dom (31) for a couple of times (4/5); this is the first time being a sub for me and he has been encouraging me to push my limits, which I am generally comfortable about. However, there's a couple of things that really rub me the wrong way. The first one is that he will sometimes push the limits of what type of pain I'm comfortable with. Nothing too bad ever happened (or at least before today) but I think he should take it seriously when I say that something really hurts and try to push his hand away if we haven't agreed to do otherwise earlier. The second, and related one, is as follows. We have texted a fair bit since meeting and exchanged a lot of fantasies. During one of our chats I said we should find a safe word and he agreed in the moment, but didn't take me up on it or return to the topic after. Which strikes me as a bit odd given that we have discussed doing a lot of stuff, some of which a safe word would be essential for. And the third is that during our last meeting, he crossed one of my hard boundaries which I have expressly set out to him on three different occasions and he tried to get me to reconsider previously. He did apologise and said it was an accident, but given the overall picture I'm slightly hesitant to believe him, particularly given that he said this was something he would like to do previously. On the day he also kept trying to convince me it wasn't that bad and that I liked it because I like pain generally. He only seriously apologised after I texted him today saying I'm confused about the situation and don't know if that was an accident or not but I was still in pain and the thing should be off limits for the future.
I suppose the only thing I'm wondering about is whether this guy is just a jerk and seriously negligent with other's safety/comfort, or if this sounds like amateur hour and he just doesn't know what he's doing, or if it seems like he is taking advantage of my lack of experience, or both. Any thoughts? And am I right to consider breaking this relationship off? Overall he seems like an okay guy, and has been quite courteous/respectful when dealing with him generally so the only thing I'm really wondering about is whether this can be excused by being an amateur or if I should not be giving him the benefit of the doubt.
Thank you for any thoughts!