My life is over. I trusted him. The Most Incredible Liar.
I have become so depressed and drained from all the lying, gaslighting and manipulation, carrying all of his blame, even blamed for his perpetual infidelity, getting assaulted, screamed at for crying or not behaving exactly as he wants. I moved to his country. I am isolated from friends and family. Any tiny bit of hope I had left is finally extinguished after a few days ago learning about how each and every thing he has ever done is directly linked to his covert/vulnerable narcissism.
So, he sees me as subhuman and always has.
No one will ever understand how it feels to have something so sacred wasted on a psychopath, besides you others here who it seems like its also over for. I felt I was crazy for so long lol. He let me convince myself it was all my fault. He let me suffer. He not only watched but laughed at my bleeding, bruises and tears. He let me lose years of my life.
But it was never me. No. I know that now. unfortunately three years too late .
He is the most incredible liar I have ever met.
Even if I had a logistically sound plan to get away//recover/rebuild --I don't have the energy or will anymore. i got used. He got what he wanted for a while then he violenced me. I never will get my life and love back. its so over for me