Being trans sucks and I regret transitioning
I started HRT in 2015. I've been living full time as a woman since...2018? I don't remember.
I don't pass. I can't use public restrooms anymore. I've had my workplace threatened by a patron because I'm trans. I DEEPLY miss being a nondescript American white guy because absolutely no one cared about me and it was wonderful. I could just go places and do things and not worry about who is around me, how I'm going to be perceived, or where I can use the bathroom. I've literally peed myself instead of using a public restroom because they scare me so much now.
I think I'd rather live the rest of my life as a gender nonconforming man than as a trans woman.
EDIT: And before I hear "try moving to a blue state" one more time...I AM in a blue state. The bluest part of that blue state. My Congresswoman is trans.
How do I detransition without feeling like a failure or a freak? Am I letting the trans community down? I'm co-chair of an LGBTQ group and I'd be afraid of them turning on me if I detransitioned.
EDIT 2: I also hate living my life as a medical exception. It was so tremendously embarrassing when I had to have a cystoscopy to see if the blood in my urine was possibly related to bladder cancer. Here I am, an alleged "woman", with a cystoscope inserted in "her" penis.