25F] Discouraged after 6 months with [28M]. Exclusive, just went on vacation, but effort dropped. Advice?
Hi everyone, I’m looking for some outside perspective on where my relationship stands because I’m feeling really stuck and discouraged :(
I’ve [25F] been seeing this guy [M28] for about six months now. Up until recently, things seemed to be progressing really well. Early on, he was actually the one checking in with me, asking if I considered us to be in a relationship, if I was happy with how things were progressing, and making sure we were on the same page. We eventually had the exclusivity talk, and we both agreed to delete our dating apps.
Fast forward to about a month ago, right before we went on a big trip together. I asked him where his head was at regarding our official status, and his response shifted. He told me he "needed more time to get to know me" before taking that next step. It hurt a bit, but I agreed to give him some space and time since we had this trip planned.
The trip happened, and it was magic… but lately, I’ve noticed a major drop in his effort and communication. To be fair, he is currently going through a major life change, so I’ve been trying to be understanding of his stress. But at the 6-month mark, the lack of effort is wearing on me.
To make matters worse, I just found out that his dating app profile is still completely active. When we first agreed to delete the apps, it happened during a bit of an argument, and he deleted the app off his phone in front of me, promising he would actually deactivate/delete the *account* later since it was a spur-of-the-moment conversation. Now I see the account is still there, and I also noticed he recently followed a random new girl on social media.
I’m torn between two possibilities:
He genuinely just deleted the app from his screen and forgot to go back and properly deactivate the profile. This still sucks and I’m not justifying it, but it is the better option.
He is intentionally keeping his options open, which matches the drop in effort and his hesitation before our trip.
What should I do? I want to talk to him, but I’m unsure how I should approach this conversation? Is 6 months too long for someone to still need time to "get to know you" when you're already traveling together and have exclusive? I want to be supportive of his life transitions, but I don't want to ignore red flags :/