u/paul_writes

Lately Ive been noticing how many nanny/employer problems seem to start really small and then slowly grow because nobody ever properly revisits the original agreement.

Not dramatic stuff at first either. More like:
extra errands,
schedule shifts,
different routines,
additional kids around during summer,
slightly longer days,
etc.

I’m curious how people actually handle those conversations once the working relationship is already established. Do most people formally update agreements when the role changes, or does it usually stay more informal and just get discussed as things come up?

Feels like this is where a lot of resentment quietly builds over time without anyone really intending it.

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I’ve been going down a bit of a rabbit hole on this lately after seeing a couple of situations where things got awkward between families and nannies, mostly around pay, schedule, time off, that kind of stuff.

What stood out is that it’s not like people don’t talk about these things, it just feels like they don’t always get fully agreed in a clear way at the start.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what actually makes that process difficult. Is it just awkward to bring things up? Or is it more that people don’t know what they should be agreeing on in the first place?

Would be really interested to hear how it’s gone for others.