Genderfluid Looking for Relationship Advice
I am a closeted genderfluid person (AFAB) dating a nonbinary man (they/he) (AMAB). I have known that I'm genderfluid for around five years now, and it has been years since being open to it with a previous partner, until I came out to my current partner soon after we started dating. I typically identify as a woman, but identifying as a man is a big part of who I am to me as well. Navigating being viewed by my partner when I am a man has been tough at times, although I know that they never have bad intentions when something they say upsets me.
The issue that we face with it is that he will say things that basically show that he views me as an "afab man" or "trans man", and not just as a "man". This can be really tough on me, and every time something new along those lines is said, I just feel less seen in the way that I truly feel. When I feel like a man, that's just it, I am a man. I don't want to be reminded that my body is different from a cis mans body. It is so tough because feeling connected to my body when I feel like a man is important to me, both in sexual and non sexual ways. It's making it hard to be open to my boyfriend I think especially because they are amab, so they have the "real thing" in front of them in terms of an amab body, which I feel like probably accentuates the fact that I don't have that. I will be clear, they have been nothing but caring and respectful of me, using my pronouns, my preferred name, making sure I'm okay, etc. Every time a comment like that comes up, they immediately feel bad and apologize.
I have talked about this issue with them of course, and how their subconscious view of me has affected me. They have been trying to look into ways to shift their perspective. I've been feeling more lonely with my gender identity, due to the only person that I am actively consistently open to not viewing me in the way that I feel. I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience and how they got through it and fought the loneliness.
TLDR; AMAB partner subconsciously viewing genderfluid AFAB partner as "amab man" or "trans man" instead of just "man" (when feeling man)