Protector stays in front because home isn't safe from triggers
I am married but my wife doesn't spend time with me or want to be around me because I am autistic and we are very different. She denies that, but we spend no time together and she is dismissive and always too busy to even talk. On top of that, she feels my alters/DID is overwhelming and so she doesn't know my alters and the only part she does know is now fused with another and so not present. She doesn't seem to get that the only chance we have as a couple is for her to get to know the new host/main fronters.
The problem is that being alone/unwanted at home is triggering due to childhood trauma and so I am constantly upset and on guard and triggered at home. I am a protector who has been fronting for months at a time since October 2025.
How are we supposed to heal if I am the only part out and home isn't safe? I mean, I am strong and can endure this, but I can't heal attachment trauma when it is ongoing and there is no downtime and acceptance. I can continue working and living, but not heal. Or at least I don't see how to heal in this situation.