u/nymphaea__

I think it’s such a widely accepted fact that this kink is so addictive to subs but I never really see many discussions about those aspects from the Dommes side.

Obviously I want to clarify I know the two are not even remotely comparable in terms of damage or risk. Like it goes without saying that our addiction isn’t leading us to spend devastating amounts of capital and ruining our lives to anywhere near the same degree as it might for subs..

But when I’ve been deep in this addiction and not taking care of myself I’ve forgone sleep, I’ve skipped work, I’ve bailed from dates or events and had my interpersonal relationships damaged or straight up ruined. I’ve been fooled by manufactured intimacy and engaged in risky public behaviour.

Navigating the power of having someone’s livelihood in your hands and riding the highs and lows of that while needing to stay strictly disciplined and be the ethical enforcer of both parties boundaries and limits at all times is addictive. There’s such inconsistency to this kink that it feels like playing the casino but the rewards system hijack is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.

I think maybe I’m just lamenting about why this kink manages to pull me back in every time I think I’ve moved away from it. It feels like something that’s always stirring behind the scenes..getting hungrier and stronger waiting to latch onto whatever it can and in certain moments it can feel like it’s all that matters. When it’s good it’s just so good and the endorphins of that is enough to sustain so much more energy than I think it’s even worth sometimes.

I think a lot of subs glamourise the experiences of dommes because they’ve grown just as cynical as we have and assume none of us could ever be as addicted..and while we certainly don’t suffer as much from it, and despite the standpoints we’re viewing it from- it’s still two sides of the same weird kinky insatiable coin.

If any other Dommes struggle with this I’m curious how you’ve implemented self-discipline to reduce it. I have a healthy set of boundaries and step away whenever I notice it starting..but it doesn’t stop the very real fact that it takes insane levels of control sometimes to execute that self-restraint.

Hi ladies. I’ve been out of this group for a while..I got a little burnt out by online dynamics but I wanted to come back to share with a community that helped me in my self-discovery for so many years with some happy news..just because I feel like me a few years ago would have loved to hear something like this.

I always tended to lean towards dating dominant men. Even though my naughty secret was my online domme kink, for some reason that never naturally translated to dating in real life and I would always end up dating shitty, control-freak men. As a result, it literally made me give up on thinking i could be happy in a relationship with any man ever again.

Until I decided to give a sub a chance irl🤭

Babes…when I say it is the greatest relationship I have ever been in! We are only in the early stages but he is so desperate to please me and lift me up in every aspect of my life it has become fucking psychosexual! It feels like his kink is just making me happy and because of that it feels like I’m in this state of foreplay 24/7 and turned on constantly! He’s fit and funny and even though he’s so submissive he’s still masculine in his daily life and his need to satisfy me…like he’s been fixing up my little apartment for me. He comes over and cooks for me, cleans for me, he pays for everything and sends me money constantly when we’re apart. He worships me in such a way that I’ve never felt more beautiful, and more in my power. We have this unbelievable power dynamic where I run him in the bedroom and in life and as a result he takes control of all the little things I don’t want to worry about so that I have nothing but time and energy to put back into myself, my pleasure and our playtime.

We get to weave in between our D/s dynamic where we can be joking one second and he’s on the floor begging and moaning for me the next and something about the anticipation of that is the hottest thing ever.

We haven’t even had sex yet and it’s been 4 months.. (I want to so badly but we want to try and save it until our 1 year.) He also wants to see me with other men or even just hear me talk about dating other men, which I could be open to in the future but having that freedom has cured my avoidant personality. We’ve filmed a lot of our play time and he wants to share more online, which I could be open to but yeah I mostly just have such a newfound love for this community realising it was the gateway for me

so I wanted to share with my Dommes :)

Sorry for the rant..but if you’re thinking of dating a submissive man i promise you it’s worth trying! If you think a solid online D/s relationship is satisfying…wait until you’ve got one at your doorstep!