u/nqipzer

please read this im at my critical point

made on throwaway account.

i’ve been in this relationship for a year and a half now. my favorite time was the first 4 months and maybe sometime after. on ninth month the relationship and my boyfriend completely changed into a way i couldn’t imagine but honestly the signs were there before ig i just decided to ignore them.

for context, i was always a person with a really free picture of the world and never put myself into any restrictions unless it’s something crazy like bad habits or something else. him, on the other hand, is not really an open person in the way he sees the world and that’s what ruins me.

i’ve been posting things on internet my whole life, but with him near to me i genuinely can’t do it because he doesn’t allow me to. i can’t wear cool earrings because of him. i can’t do nails. i can’t wear something that shows at least a bit of belly. i can’t wear heavy make up. because he doesn’t like it. and these didn’t come at the start of the relationship. it came only after nine months and that’s why i’m so attached.

i still love him and that’s my main problem. because rn i actually don’t do what he doesn’t like, the relationship is normal, but if i try to post anything at all our relationship will crash fully. whenever i try to tell him that i just wanna post something for myself, he says that it’s for people’s attention and that’s weird and his argument that i can’t say anything on is “u don’t care about my feelings that’s why u continue doing it” like okay then u don’t care about my feelings if i do something that i like and u restrict me?

i don’t know completely how to either get out or talk to him. i don’t wanna be restricted in so many things in such a young age and that’s definitely not healthy. but i also don’t wanna lose him because i love him. please help