I get triggered when I hear about DID when I’m not explicitly expecting it and I don’t know why
Just for the record, I am not diagnosed with DID but I know I have dissociative symptoms that are similar, so I’ve spent a lot of time in these spaces because the coping skills and recovery process helps.
A few weeks ago I made a post on a subreddit completely unrelated to mental health or DID and a system responded with their view on it as a system. I don’t know why, it really stressed me out. First hand accounts on subreddits unrelatedto DID or MH describing multiple personalities in lots of detail really stress me out (surface level doesn’t bother me much). Other social medias keeps recommending system blogs and I genuinely don’t want to see them.
I don’t know what it is. I’m at peace with the fact that I experience dissociative symptoms and with the fact that plenty of coping skills overlap and help me. I just don’t want to constantly be faced with it. I also get scared when people bring it up because I’m scared they think that’s what I have. The idea of someone ‘clocking me’ as a system actually terrifies me. I think the idea the algorithm is grouping me that way doesn’t help.
I feel really horrible about this, though. It’s no one’s fault that someone with a MH disorder happens to just be in public. I don’t know how to stop, because it is not reasonable to expect people with DID to just, not be there, especially when subreddits like this one have helped me so much.
It’s an irrational trigger, it just comes from the fear of being seen, but I don’t know how to deal with it because I am not always in a headspace where I am ready to confront my symptoms.
I’m sorry if I am not allowed to post this but if anyone has any advice or similar experiences I’d appreciate it.