my partner is convinced I'm gaslighting myself into believing I'm an evil mastermind
a while ago I was upset and I remember thinking at least in my head that it would be more dramatic if I stuttered every sentence so I faked it.
I told my partner this after I felt better and they just laughed at me and told me that I'm not that good of an actor, but as much as I tried to tell them otherwise, they wouldn't believe it at all. I know deep down I'm very manipulative and selfish and though I tried telling them all of the "evil" things I've done in earnest, they didn't buy it a single bit.
now I'm confused if I'm actually as good of a liar as I think I am or if I'm just mildly psychotic perhaps to the point that I truly believe I am. I know I've lied about things but now I'm actually wondering if those were lies or if I was just dissociating. the weirdest thing is that if it's not true that I'm a liar, then I've been carrying all this guilt for nothing?