I need advice
I am 21/F and I just got diagnosed with BPD in January. I didn’t start taking my pills as I got diagnosed with bulimia right after and was given more pills. I have a stigma around them as i’m also a recovering alcoholic who binges. I was afraid of mixing. I moved back to my long distance bf house and when he left me alone I got wasted. Not just for one day, for three. The moment he left me alone. I binged. but I meant what I said when I said I was gonna be sober. He got us molly without telling me and I got off my pills and chose drugs with him which really scared me. After that I felt like the momentum shifted and I made an excuse. If I can do drugs I can drink? right? I know it’s a choice though. Before he got mad at me he used me sexually and I feel like the monster here but I also feel like there’s something more? I am desperate for advice. And I will take brutal honesty because I know I need to take accountability and stop making excuses. I know i’m most in the wrong but nobody in my family understands BPD and alcoholism. I don’t even.