u/muktharhere

I’ve been seeing this more and more lately and it’s honestly making me sick. I saw a post recently about people moving out of Kerala and visiting home like once or twice a year, and it’s become the new normal.

I live in Bengaluru, and I see it happening all around me. People move here for the high paying tech jobs and the lifestyle, but they don't even try to take their parents with them. They just leave them back home to age in empty houses, or worse, they look for good old age homes so they don't have to deal with the responsibility.

Maybe it's just my Indian brain but I can’t digest this. As an eldest and only son, the idea of doing this feels like a betrayal. These are the people who sacrificed everything for us, and the moment we get a bit of money and freedom, we run away from the responsibility of looking after them?

I hear all the usual excuses privacy, "my spouse won't agree," career growth, etc. But let’s be real it’s mostly just being selfish. We’re copying the West in the worst way possible.

I don't know, maybe I’m being too traditional, but I don’t think independence should mean leaving your parents to fend for themselves when they’re old and vulnerable. How do you even sit in a cafe here in Bengaluru or live in a fancy apartment knowing your parents are alone in Kerala?

Is it just me? Am I the only one who thinks we’re losing our humanity for the sake of a modern lifestyle? Would you guys ever actually do this? Because I personally can't.

edit

Before people misunderstand this again, let me clarify something first:

I am NOT talking about abusive parents, toxic households, childhood trauma, financial struggles, career survival, or people forced by circumstances to live away from family. I completely understand those situations, and people have every right to protect their peace and build their lives.

What I’m talking about is something else entirely.

I’m talking about well settled adults who could stay emotionally connected to their aging parents, check on them, spend time with them, support them when needed but slowly choose not to because responsibility feels inconvenient.

So, my friend is in town for a 4-day trip to explore the city, and I’ve been hyped to show him the vibe. (Saturday, around 10 PM), we were heading out to hit the Tonique/Pub Street area to show him the nightlife.
We were walking near Nexus Mall, right by that massive junction where the traffic light leads you toward the Tonique line. It’s a high-traffic spot, lights everywhere, totally public.

As we’re approaching the corner where the bushes and grass line the walkway, we see this woman an African lady just straight-up squatting in the bushes right on the edge of the path. She was fully urinating in public, right there in the middle of one of the busiest districts in the city.
We saw it for maybe two seconds before our brains even registered what was happening. We were in such total disbelief that we didn't even know how to react—we literally just turned around and headed back the other way immediately

My friend, who’s only been here a few days, was just staring like, Is this actually happening?

She honestly seemed completely out of it, probably hammered given it was Saturday night in Koramangala, but man... it was a surreal sight. My friend now thinks Bangalore is a lawless wasteland, and honestly, after seeing that, I’m in shock too.

I’ve seen some things in this city, but that was easily one of the wildest, most "no-filter" moments ever.

TL;DR:Took my friend out to Koramangala, saw a woman casually using the bushes as a toilet right next to the Nexus Mall traffic lights. We saw it for 2 seconds and immediately noped out of there. Bangalore is officially unpredictable.