How do I get rid of this rage?
It's been almost nine months since we broke up. My rage is getting so much worse the further away I get and see all the damage he caused for me. I've never had this much hate for someone after this long, when I don't talk to them. I'm honestly scared I'm going to end up in prison because I wake up everyday and have immediate thoughts of hurting him. I feel beyond psycho, but I can't get over how he took every single thing about me away. I even have to move out of my dream home because I let him live here and now it just doesn't have a good energy or home feeling to it.
Has anyone experienced this? He basically raped me while my dog was dying on his floor and then left me right after. After putting me through years of physical, mental, and sexual abuse. I have old pictures of the bruises and texts begging me to not go to the hospital and conversations after he'd force himself on me, but I don't even think anything would happen from that. The police literally are always on the man's side.
Can someone please tell me how to stop wanting to hurt him. I've never had thoughts like this before especially for this long. I usually get over things pretty easily and quickly.
Please help.