u/lunatarotreader7

So this may be a long one I apologise for any mis spelling

So back story last week my twin sister (F24) got married to her long time partner they had been together 10 years and have 3 kids together (F6) (F5) and (M1)

My dad (m50) has been In and out of our lives since he and my mum divorced 20 years ago he was very inconstant and was always high or drunk when we saw him

My sister and him had a good relationship till a few years ago when he didn’t listen to basic rules about her two daughters he went against her wishes on a few things when the girls were 2 and a new born he also got my brother who was under age drunk so my sister stopped talking to him

My dad then had a daughter with his new girlfriend and so I got in contact with him for my new sister who cannot contact me herself

My sister did consider talking to him again to because of this but found out he was bad mouthing her and lying about her so she didn’t

Anyway now to the story

My sister got married last week and it was a surprise wedding she and her now husband told everyone it was an engagement party and asked us to wear black not many people came it was small but nice my sister looked amazing and the night was nice small. Her daughters and our little sister on our mums side were flower girls and her son was a ring security it was nice my uncle and aunt on my mum sides came my mum stepped, brother and my Fiancé were there, a few friends of there’s and some of my BIL’s family and my cousin and her bf and daughter on my dads side like I said small

A couple days after I tried to call my dad he didn’t answer I tried again the next day and the day after no answer I even tried his girlfriend and left a message his gf got back to me and said she would tell him to call me he never did I called him again today and he answered the second time, when he answered he was cold and short with me he’s never been like that he I asked him how he was and his gf and my sister were he coldly said they were fine he then said why did none tell me about her wedding in a annoyed tone and I told him I didn’t know till it happened they told us it was an engagement party he got colder in his response and said he needed to go and fix his freezer

Said goodbye and hung up. Usually he says he loves me before ending a phone call but this time didn’t

Im considering not having him at my wedding or giving me away after the way he acted.

Since I got engaged he’s been demanding that he gives me away but not offering to help at all with financial assistance

What should I do

Update:

About a month from the last phone call with my dad after everything I still hadn’t heard anything from him so I sent him a message that reads:

“Hi dad, it’s been a bit since we talked and last time we did I felt like you were mad at me for (sister) getting married first I tried to contact you for a week with no answer, second She told everyone it was an engagement party then surprised everyone with a wedding and finally she’s asked me not to tell you anything about her life

I understand you may be upset but it’s not my job to tell you about her life I need you to respect that, I want a relationship with you and (younger sister) but only if you can respect that boundary” I was left on read it’s been over a month now since I sent it so I assume him leaving me on read means he doesn’t want anything to do with me so my mum is giving me away on the day and he will not be receiving a formal invitation to the wedding