u/lost-in-midgard

Work is becoming a nightmare and I'm feeling trapped and not easily able to find something else. 

I'm being asked to let good people (I'd call them my best people) go, "Corporate restructuring", essentially the need for their roles has shrunk with the use of tools like AI. To do so might be a long process, and the whole thing is filling me with dread and anxiety. I'm not sleeping, I constantly obsess about the situation, I'm on anxiety medication and honestly, I feel like quitting myself. 

The alternative feels deeply unethical: betraying the trust of people who have done nothing wrong, people I have nurtured in their jobs and care about, just to keep my job. But my family need me to be in my job... and even if I leave they will be fired anyway... so round and round the thoughts go, never reaching a solution. 

An obvious answer might be, find another job! But my mind is so taken up with my current situation, and my confidence now so low, I don't feel capable of even applying for any role. Also, won't it probably just be the same? So maybe I need to switch careers. But my family can't afford the pay cut that comes with that... 

I'm annoying myself just typing all this! Anyway it's a knotty problem and I don't see easy solutions. 

Can anyone recommend words of wisdom which may be applicable to navigating this situation, please?

I've been learning about Stoicism for a few months, but nothing which seems to steer on my current work situation.

I'm being asked to let good people (I'd call them my best people) go. To do so might be a long process, and the whole thing is filling me with dread and anxiety. I'm not sleeping, I constantly obsess about the situation and honestly, I feel like quitting myself.

I recognise this is not a very Stoic attitude! But the alternative feels deeply unethical: betraying people who have done nothing wrong just to keep my job. But I need my job... so round and round the thoughts go, never reaching a solution.

Can anyone recommend words of wisdom which may be applicable to navigating this situation, please?

I'm so stressed I can't sleep or eat, I'm on anxiety medication (beta blockers) and attending CBT and it's all job related. I know the exact cause - and it's not something I can change in my current job.

I am on 3 months notice and the job pays 1 month of GP certified sickness at full pay.

I'd like to get signed off for that month to get my head together, then resign on my return.

I honestly don't know if this is a stupid idea hence the post. But my work has treated me like crap and after 6 years I feel I should be covered for the stress their negligence has caused, to give me the best runway to sorting my head out and finding another job.

I know people will say it's mad to leave a job without another lined up. Trust me when I say, I have reached a point where I know unequivocally that I am at my limit and can't continue a day longer without a change. My partner agrees and will help. So please let's leave that aside for this post.

I'm struggling to get past the darkness of the Moomins ditching Snufkin and Snorkmaiden and the rest, and just disappearing to a miserable island.

The folk in Moominvalley in a bleak winter, even Snufkin who would normally spend the winter exploring elsewhere... it's just crushing.

It feels like a rejection of the values of friendship and extended family we've spent so many books developing - honestly it feels like we end on some bad, after so much good.

What do you make of it? And if you have, how do you make peace with this being the ending?