please take this seriously…
I’m sorry i will put a TW right here!!! no promotion of any disordered or harmful behavior but i feel like some details are needed for proper advice or help
(if you disagree PLEASE comment that and i will either delete the post or edit it to remove all numbers, details and so on!!!)
So this is my issue:
i’ve had an ed for almost 9 years now (19 y.o.), first it was anorexia for a long time and about a years ago i was also diagnosed with anorexia b/p subtype.
for the most part i didn’t see an issue and also didn’t want to change (or at least not in the recovering way)
then about half a year ago or so i did feel miserable ofc bc i was actively engaging in every possible way but differently to all the other times i felt miserable i thought “well maybe getting better, getting healthier and treating my body nicely/neutral would help me feel less horrendous”. But sadly it didn’t like then and there. fast forward to 2 weeks ago i finally put a stop to it. i went from 0 to 100 (in my eyes) and put myself on a meal plan (with professional support team and all but i did the hard part at home)
first few days i ate around >!1200-1400!< calories which felt stupid af but i just pushed through. though i did not purge (to this day so it has now been 2 weeks!!!) my ed/controlling (and also due to other diagnoses other behaviours) have crawled back in and im slowly downing my calories again (i’m at an average of >!500!< right now)
this post is NOT to say “oh well look at me eating so little” or anything bc I KNOW that this is so so wrong, but does anyone have any advice on how to stop this from happening, to stop yourself from cutting some things out bit by bit till your down like a couple hundred calories of your average after a week?
please please please give me advice’s!