Found out shocking reason for parents' divorce
I cannot believe I am typing this, but as I wait to speak to a therapist, my siblings and I (all adults) have nowhere else to go. Here it goes:
Growing up my parents have never had the best relationship and they would often get into heated verbal arguments and fights, and my siblings and I often thought they would be better off separated or with a divorce. Now more than 20 years later when most of the kids me included have left the house and we (siblings and dad) find out that my mom (34 at the time) cheated on my dad 20 years ago with my dad's own half-nephew (24 at the time) and even got pregnant with his baby and they got an abortion behind my dad's back. My dad even said my mom told him she was so in love with the nephew she was ready to have his baby if he was willing to marry her and she would leave behind me and my siblings (we would have been age 8 and under) and my dad to be with the nephew. Dad's nephew declined this "offer," hence the abortion.
It sounds like I am making it up typing it up but it's true. My dad is devastated and has slept only 12-13 hours the last week or so. They're tried going to marriage counseling but it seems my dad wants the divorce which is understandable. My mom is somewhat of narcissist and she apparently told me sister she is "always the one to dump people, not the other way around." She does not work/is a homemaker (which I know is a worthwhile path),but my dad has worked extremely hard to support our big family. Anytime I talk to my mom she brings up all of these excuses, like her sexual abuse as a child, my dad's cold and distant personality and overworking throughout the marriage as reasons that contributed to the cheating). I don't buy any of this. My siblings, dad and I have always felt bad for my mom because of her abuse background that happened when she was a child, but it's really hard to connect that to her actions she took as a married adult woman or even pity her. She claims that because she was an abuse victim, she has always chased love and affection (maybe also validation from men) as she lacked that growing up. I don't really know what to think or do. She sure didn't provide us with much love or affection growing up.
My siblings and i all found out about this over the phone, as we are quite far from home. Any advice is appreciated