Vent post- My parent's sibling is watching them wither away after my parents spent +20 years securing THEIR life.
I am beyond livid. My parents (mid-60s and late-70s) are the sole caregivers for my 90-year-old grandfather. He’s in his 90s, barely sleeps, and has become increasingly vindictive and difficult to manage. My parents are physically failing. They are exhausted, their own health is tanking, and they are at a breaking point.
The kicker? My parents spent the last 20+ years taking over every family responsibility to ensure this sibling’s life was secure. They stepped up so their sibling didn't have to. They carried the weight and did the heavy lifting so everyone else could have stability. And now, 20 years later, here we are. When my parents finally need the favor returned because they are physically breaking, they are met with nothing but excuses and gaslighting.
I finally confronted the sibling point-blank over whatsapp. I told them my parents can’t do this anymore and we need physical help.
The response? Pure arrogance. They sent a long-winded "poor me" message about how "hurt" they are that I’d suggest they aren't concerned. They blame "operational flights" and "circumstances" for why they can't take him, yet in the same breath say they’ll "look for a attendant/maid reference" because apparently, the elders "don't want anyone in the house." Do note that I'm in a different geo. So, seniority homes are out of discussion.
I point-blank asked for physical help because my parents' own health is failing under the pressure. I got a response so arrogant and dismissive I can’t even put it into words. Because my grandfather doesn’t ask them for help, they act like it’s not their problem. They are literally ignoring their physical decline....the same sibling who secured their life for +20 years....because they are waiting for a "request" from a 90-year-old who is no longer rational. they are ready to throw money so that my parents can continue housekeeping this 90 year old. they don't want to even take the effort of coordinating with the senior care services companies.
So, my parents are expected to sacrifice the last of their healthy years and their physical safety because this sibling is "hurt" and too "arrogant" to step up. They are literally watching my parents drown and are standing on the shore complaining about the "tone" of my request. I’m done being "polite." My parents' lives matter more than these excuses.
Fuck them all.