u/korndogg10

In this context her best meaning some type of sexual act or enthusiasm when it comes to sexual relations as is commonly stated when it comes to this conversation.

It is irrelevant if she was more sexually open or enthusiastic with a previous partner because that’s not the reason you should be upset. You should be upset because you are not getting your wants met. If you wanted to have crazy kinky sex then that should have been something you should already have been discussing or participating in. If when you request a certain act that you want to participate in and she declines. You have 2 options in that situation either accept that you’re not going to get what you want and leave or accept it and truly move on with your relationship.

Any extra knowledge that she did it before should have no bearing on your decision. You can feel hurt, that’s ok but you either leave or get over it purely because you are not getting the act that you want to participate in and not because you need to prove yourself superior to some other random guy.

If the only reason you would be ok with her declining sexual acts that you wanted is because she had never done it before you, then it was never about what you wanted but your need to be “better” than her previous relationships.

Just leave and find the girl that you are fully compatible with, the one that will make you feel fulfilled regardless of what kind of relationship she has with previous partners.

There’s clearly been a factor in society that causes a lot of men to think that being a nice guy is a good strategy to get into a partnership with women. I feel like that has been the main message seen throughout a lot of the media that we consumed during childhood and the explicit statements of women when specifically asked about their wants in a boyfriend. Usually when asked the first thing that comes out of their mouths is that “he has to be nice”.another thing you will see is the sentiment that if a guy is having trouble getting a relationship, he must have a horrible personality or must not be treating women like people etc. so of course they will think that if I just treat women like people or be nice by not being a misogynist it should succeed in me getting a relationship but when that inevitably doesn’t work they will implode or explode.

Furthermore a lot of people operate under the just world fallacy. They believe that doing good acts should get you good outcomes especially when they are young. So why wouldn’t they apply this to dating, why wouldn’t they believe that putting in nice tokens would get them a result. It just seems so obvious. I mean I’m sure you all believed that just putting in enough hard work would get you where you want to be but that’s also obviously not true. But I wouldn’t be surprised at meeting people who still believe that.

I’m not asking you to give these guys a chance or anything. I’m just asking whether or not you can understand why there would be such a large number of Nice guys in the world. Also it doesn’t matter whether they were actually nice or not because that implies that if they were actually genuine that it would change their dating outcomes when we all know that’s just not true. Dating and attraction has zero to do with morality.