u/kiiwwii12

Asking out of genuine curiosity. What is the motivation? Lineage? To enjoy some fun together on weekends? Status?

I notice in certain areas (worldwide) some parents have multiple children but barely spend time with them. They usually send them to daycare and/or have a nanny. So they have maybe 1 hr in the morning and 1 in the evening with the kids. Sometimes they also hire a nanny on the weekends.

I understand some people are struggling to make ends meet, so this is not about these families as they usually would do daycare anyway.

I mean the upper class families that chose to. Why? Why even have kids, and sometimes more than one?

And do Nannies judge these families?

- Former nanny, and mom.

Edit: I’m shocked and sad how unique my experience is.I expected completely different reactions. Reading some of your responses, it sounds very rough.

Edit 2: didn’t expect so many responses. To clarify: nobody is saying life won’t change with children. The purpose of this post is to say that loss of freedom doesn’t have to be the reason to not have kids.

Edit 3: the definition of freedom seems to depend largely on your hobbies and what you consider fun and free. Mindset is everything!

I see the concern of “loss of freedom” a lot here. I myself used to be so afraid of it. Now I’m a parent and I realize you don’t need to lose your freedom as a parent and more importantly it’s not like you actually ever have true freedom anyway if you participate in the average workforce.

Let me explain: pre baby, from a young age actually, starting with school, then college, then work, you are essentially on a schedule. Your job requires you to be in the office or whatever job site for usually 8+ hours. You are set to arrive at a given time, do specific tasks, and then you’re allowed to leave. In return you get a paycheck. Is this true freedom? No. You cannot do what you want, unless you have unlimited financial resources.

It’s the same when you have a kid, except if you have the option to be a parent as your main job, then you gain a tremendous amount of freedom.

Having a kid adds more responsibilities if you also have to continue working (which most people do) but it doesn’t remove your freedom. You simply will want to spend your free time differently, and with a supportive partner you can keep your hobbies and sleep in here and there even.

Kids are also very flexible and they can be brought along to many things, including travel.

This post is not meant to convince anymore, it’s simply a different perspective on the freedom aspect.