u/ketchup_bottle002

I asked my mom what she would think if I did an exchange semester next year in another country, and explained to her why this has been a dream of mine for many years (she knows this) except that now I'm actually going through with it and with the applications (didn't tell her that though), and I really want her to understand and support me. She was a bit disappointed that I "wanna leave home" but i think she understood it ultimately and said she's okay with it if it's actually meaningful, but she also said that im not a normal girl at all.. that girls my age usually settle down and get married, while im here wanting to do an exchange in another continent and put myself in difficult situations to deal with them all alone and away from family.

I don't need advice about this because i know there is nothing crazy here, and it is in fact normal to want things other than marriage, my mom and i dont agree on many things 🤣 but I love my mom more than anything in this world, and im hopeful that she understood me and will support my wishes about the exchange, but i have come to the realisation that i will always leave her disappointed because im not the "normal girl" she wants me to be ... :(

My question is general and is for non-toxic households, and for men and women. Living with family during adulthood is typical especially if work or uni is in the same city. The only cases i see of muslim people living independently before marriage is because they left their home country to study or work.

but being an adult who lives with family means low privacy, \[mostly\] not being able to take care of oneself (so feeding oneself, keeping space clean, dealing with financial issues and fixing stuff around the house, etc).

For me, personally, as a girl in my mid twenties, I fantasize a lot about moving out. My family is great, we are very close and i love them, but all of my siblings are adults (we are 5 siblings plus parents, im the 2nd youngest) and unmarried and we all still live together as we live in a big European city and hence can just pick the unis/jobs here. And therefore i feel there are some inconveniences like sharing bedrooms, disruptions at night because some want to sleep early and some don't, self maintenance (brothers dont do a single home chore despite being 25+ years old), dont even have space talk to people online without disruptions etc etc etc. I just need my space and notice my brothers also do, but in our household and culture, moving out is not a thing before marriage. Even convincing parents to do internship or exchange abroad is like pulling teeth, because we can do all that in our city and "what's the point of living solo except that u hate ur family and wanna leave them"... So yeah, i would like to hear some opinions.