Hi everyone, I just discovered this subreddit today and it feels like God Himself led me. Bear with me for this long post lol. I knew I've liked both boys and girls since I was about 9 years old. I am a cradle Catholic with very devout parents. I myself am a pretty devout Catholic. I go to mass, I became involved in the young adult community, I am an INVOLVED catholic. I've had a crush on a girl at my all girls Catholic high school, in college and so on. I've always been very aware of these feelings and have dismissed them for being "wrong."
Last summer in 2025 at work, I met a girl who I had/have a significant connection with. Feelings began to develop the more we became friends, and we both told each other we liked each other. I then pushed her away due to my faith, and told her even though I liked her we couldn't date. I then felt really sad about the decision, and prayed a lot to the Lord about it. I literally couldn't shake my feelings for this girl, and I felt God calling me to let myself like her. She is very supportive of my faith and we discuss it all the time. Cue the problems.
My parents and I are pretty progressively Catholic, and they've always been a huge part of how big my faith is. I fully thought they would respect my relationship and support me as I still live out my faith. While my mom was and still is, my dad is not. He tells me how wrong it is and can't even look my girlfriend in the EYE. He treats her like garbage and she isn't allowed in our house. I was SHOCKED. I've always looked up to my dad, and I love him. I don't understand why he feels this way. I always used to wish I could change myself, but this is who I am. I started questioning the Church and if my own father can't accept me, how can the Lord? Was I even supposed to be in the Catholic Church?
I became frankly very depressed and suicidal. I haven't gone to Church in two months or so, which is the longest I've ever been apart from him. I feel like I shouldn't go because of who I am. I've isolated myself from my YA community for fear of rejection. Despite this, my mom is my biggest supporter and defends me to my dad, and they argue a lot. Their marriage, which I've always looked up to, has been shaken because of this. Because of ME. I feel guilty, I feel ashamed, and I feel lost. I've been praying to God and asking Him what I'm supposed to do. My dad told me recently that he would get over it, but he would never accept that part of me, and to him it will always be wrong. I've brought to his attention how he is making me feel, and he cries every time. I have cried. But his heart is unchanging.
I could use resources, friends, support, ANYTHING during this time in my life. This is the most lost I have ever felt. I am rethinking my whole relationship with my dad. I don't want to abandon my faith. I know the Lord is real and so is the Eucharist. Like I said, finding this subreddit felt like He is listening to me. I'm asking for help and advice PLEASE. Thank you so much!!!!