Asexuality and wanting a life partner
So, I’ve recently realized I’m probably asexual, or at least one the ace spectrum. I’ve kind of been dancing around it for the last 5 years, kept holding out for “the right person” that would prove that hypothesis wrong… but here I am, almost 23, with pretty much no dating history and not a single sexual urge towards a living, breathing person. I’m still young, so who knows how I may feel later on, but at the very least, I haven’t had a conventional experience with dating and the feelings that come with it.
…But I don’t think I’m aromantic? I do desire companionship, and ultimately want to have a committed partner to share my life with. Romantic relationships have always sounded nice in theory, but with regular dating, the issue of the sexual aspect has always held me back from trying to pursue partnership with anyone. This sounds really dramatic, but the threat of having to be physically with someone always filled me with immense amounts of dread... Even if I liked the person and could potentially see them romantically.
I guess I’m curious about how partnership has worked for people who are asexual? The idea of a queerplatonic relationship or a committed romantic asexual relationship has sounded nice, but I don’t really know what that looks like in reality. Most of all, I don’t know how people even find other people who want the same thing, alongside the already difficult task of passing all the other compatibility tests required to create a stable relationship.
I guess I want to get some perspective, as someone who newly identifies as asexual, but still really wants a partner. Any other thoughts and experiences on the topic?