u/jqttvfx

I’m doing a school project on use of ai among teenagers and i need respondents. Thanks to everyone who will fill it

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdo\_qrPFEzn2nE1uhKdiXo14beQ0NCh7G3bAapBYz2ETES-bw/viewform?usp=publish-editor

I need at least a couple of respondents for my school project about the use of generative ai, so i’d be glad if you filled out this form:

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdo\_qrPFEzn2nE1uhKdiXo14beQ0NCh7G3bAapBYz2ETES-bw/viewform?usp=publish-editor

Idk if it’s alr to post in here, or if i have to post it on r/transnames, but anyway, here we go:

When i (afab) was about 11, i had this obsession with one particular masculine name. I was 100% sure that if i was born a boy and could name myself, i’d pick this name without hesitation and honestly i kinda like the name to this day (not THIS much, ofc, but i’d still consider it)

Now i have this teacher who’s named literally the said name. Since this school year started, i’ve been doing pretty shitty. Now this teacher is really chilled, he lets me sit in front, so i can be alone and doesn’t comment it, doesn’t care if i sit comfortably even though it’s not the way i should sit, he doesn’t care if i chew a gum and many more small things that make his classes my comfort place and kind of a break from everything.

I would lie if i said that naming myself this name would be completely unrelated to him, because he’s made this school year better by just letting me do my work in peace. I’ve also thought a lot during some of his classes and those were the times when i’ve finally realized i’m trans.

I really feel like it’d be weird to name myself (even partly) after a teacher, but idk. As i’ve said i still genuinely like the name anyway and this would add just a bit of meaning to it.

I just started overthinking about everything and i think i need a perspective of someone else, since this is what i’ve been dealing with for most of my life and don’t really know if these thoughts make me “trans enough,” because how can i know if it’s normal or not if i’ve never experienced life without it? Anyway here are some of my egg thoughts: (TW: mentioning of ED and suixidal thoughts)

- i’ve hated my name ever since i could remember

- when i was very very little (pre K age), i was *obsessed* with garbage men, i’ve literally memorized the days of the week just to know when they’d come

- one day in kindergarten our teachers explained to us what being a gentleman and a lady was and i wanted to be a gentleman *so bad* like sns, but being a lady sucks, i *will* hold the door for you no matter my gender lol

- when i was a really young child (5-7), i found “boys” interests (such as toy cars or archery) super fascinating

- when i was about 7-11, i had an obsession with wanting to be a boy, it was my biggest wish and my first go to wish when blowing candles on my birthday cake or when seeing shooting stars

- when i was about said age, i thought everyone knew being a girl was objectively worse than being a boy and girls just had a bad luck fir being born that way

- when i was about 9, whenever i imagined my adult life, i imagined myself as a man

- when i was 12 and heard about transgender people for the first time, it wasn’t presented to me in the nicest way, i thought they were weird, but i secretly wanted to move out as far as possible (when i’m adult ofc), so i win’t have to explain anything to anyone and there transition into a man

- ik that this was a stupid idea, but when i was 13, i saw a video where a girl who used to have an ED talked about some of the effects and she mentioned her chest never really grew because of it, so i decided i desperately needed to lose weight, so my chest wouldn’t grow

- when i was 15, i was making up a list of boy names i would consider if i was trans, which i *definetely wasn’t*, but yk, just in case… and then i met a guy with my top chosen name that i *definetely* would *never* need and i felt kinda attacked, because now i had to choose a new one

- at 16, there were times when i wanted to either transition or not be alive anymore, which always lasted for about a week-a month

- now thinking of my future self as a man makes me euphoric and it just feels like the only right way to go, i wouldn’t even imagine myself as a woman

To all these thoughts i also get gender dysphoria and sometimes euphoria, too. Lately i’ve been genuinely thinking i might be trans and i’ve also came out to one of my friends, but i’m just scared i’m faking it or smth

I wanna say i have a good-ish relationship with my parents and they are REALLY nice and loving. I know for sure they aren’t homophobic and i don’t think they are transphobic either. My mom has interacted with many trans people because of her job and even though my dad has made a couple of slightly transphobic-ish jokes, he has a dark sence of humor and i know that he is usually chilled about other peoples lives as long as they’re not harming anyone, so i don’t think he would be openly transphobic towards me even if he would disagree.

With all that said, our relationship is mostly quiet. My dad and i are very introverted people and when i finally actually talk with my parents, it’s always just small talks about school, work or something like that, no deep conversations.

I really wanna come out and start my transition to the fullest and i believe i’m in a safe environment, but i just don’t know how to do it. Does anyone have any tips?