I looked at my friends and realized who i was
I (26f) was hanging out with my friends who all party quite often. Me and my friends would dab all day every day.
I had another sober friend come hang out with all of us, and the sober friend made plans to come hiking and made dinner with me. This was something i was begging my stoner friends to do with me.
And then it clicked.
I realized who i was surrounding myself with. Being in this environment felt "low vibrational". Thats the best way i could describe it. Every time i wanted to do a healthier activity like hiking or even something as a simple as taking a walk, it would feel like i was asking the world of them. They would usually say no, and we'd spend the whole day just dabbing and smoking blunts and listening to music. Which i loved, but i love hiking more, i love cooking and not feeling lazy more, i love having real conversations that arent focused around how fucked up we got that one time, and being able to hold a conversation without forgetting what im saying half way through. My sober friend made me realize how much i missed what it felt like to have friends who prioritize other activities besides lazing around and smoking.
Its almost as if i gave myself the ick. But i forgive myself. And my friends. They are still great people. I think i outgrew the environment.
I love myself. So much, that it made me never want to lose myself again in weed. 11 years a stoner. She isnt me anymore.
I feel more lady like. I feel like an adult now. I dont have to smoke a bowl before i go grocery shopping now and waste an hour bopping around or losing myself in instagram bc im stoned and nervous about going in public. I dont feel nervous about visiting my parents anymore and wondering if they know im high bc of my eyes or bc of the way i smell.
Im involved. Im present. Im grounded. And most of all, im in control. And it feels really good :) thanks for reading