36F avoidant in new healthy relationship with 49M help?
Hi everyone! As the title says, I am in the healthiest relationship of my life. We’ve been medium-distance for a year, and it’s truly wonderful. We both have our baggage, but I’ve recently discovered a personal struggle: when he shares his feelings or critiques a situation, I shut down instead of communicating in the moment.
The most recent incident happened after a family event. An encounter with a notoriously harsh relative left me feeling small and upset. When my boyfriend checked in, I told him I was sad but didn't want to elaborate..partly because I was still processing the "blur" of the event. The next day, when I tried to brush it off as "no big deal," he got upset. He feels there is a wall between us and that, after a year, I should be more open.
I’m confused because I feel like I tell him everything. Now, a small voice in my head is telling me to run before this becomes a deal-breaker. I love him deeply, but I’m worried I’m not "right" for him if I can't break this habit. How do I stop shutting down when things get heavy?
* I am in therapy but it’s inconsistent