So I had an intense night
So I'm BPD and I need to vent because I'm overwhelmed and scared after last night. I heard my mom and my brother fighting as usual before I was passed out. I was already in my bed and trynna go to sleep, but their arguments were normal, my brothers rage is daily. I didn't think anything of it. I guess I thought I was asleep when I heard my neighbours voice or someone with a deep voice banging and screaming outside the front door. He was yelling telling my brother to knock it off, and I thought I heard the front door open making me think he had bursted in. I woke up startled and crying and unable to breathe. Everything in the house though had become silent, so I thought it was a nightmare. Only to hear my brother and my mom talking about it this morning, all of it did happen. They had just gotten quiet and the door opening was my mom telling him to go away. Everyone was scared after that since it escalated, and he apparently stayed outside the house another 30 mins, hence the silence. It was weird and triggering, and I think I would've felt better thinking it was a nightmare. Now I'm kinda scared of going to sleep, of the neighbour, and of my brother acting up. Then I tonight I heard people screaming outside tonight before I head to bed, and now I'm experiencing paranoia again. I used to call my mom over because I love being out in the living space yet I always got scared that there was someone aiming a gun at me. Now I'm feeling it again suddenly and having to hide in my bathroom when I thought I got over my fear of windows at night and thinking I'm hearing gunshots. Does anyone else have random paranoid episodes or think they dreamt something intense? I'm just so anxious lately.