u/joblessfox

not planning on working with the Fae any time soon but I would love to read some info, have some books to the side for when I'm bored and want something to read

does anyone have any recs?(not Wicca)

{I'm not posting this here as drama, shit talking or anything like that. I genuinely wanna understand why this is happening}

I'm new to Reddit and I joined some pagan/witchcraft communities expecting to engage with other people who practice and have conversations

I posted 2 or 3 posts about stuff happening in my life and I asked for advice or tips but all I got was unrelated "advice" that felt really backhanded. to the point I'm seriously considering leaving Reddit

I didn't wanna post this in the same communities I posted my other stuff bec I didn't want it to look like I'm targeting people. so I joined and I'm posting it here so I can figure out why tf this keeps happening

so basically:

I ask for advice on how to talk to another witch that has (not intentionally) freaked out one of my friends regarding a spell. I made it clear most people involved are my close friends, they ask about my practice cause why wouldn't they and that for mental health reasons I wanted some outsiders advice on how to talk to this witch. all I got was "say I don't wanna talk about it and stop interacting" "why do U feel the need to explain" "friendships don't work like that U don't need to explain anything Ur just young and U don't know how friendships work yet"(I'm an adult) "why would Ur friends ask U questions about Ur practice that's so disrespectful" even tho I made it clear that asking questions wasn't what I had a prob with in this situation.

I literally got no advice and was just told that 1)my friends are disrespectful for asking questions and for spells(which I'm ok with them doing) and that I shouldn't want to talk to this witch and get it resolved bec in not "setting boundaries"?

then I asked about an object I know for a fact is haunted/charged with negative energy or whatever. I explained something that happened involving my sister's cat, that this object was responsible for (I experienced it so im pretty sure I know wtf happened) I wanted to ask if anyone knew anything other than the basics that I could try cause I work with those energies and entities and I didn't wanna just banish it/cleanse it. I got "U haven't read Solomon so U don't know what Ur doing" "U can only banish it" "actually the cat thing is unrelated bec it seems so to me" "why do U even want to do anything else than banish/cleanse it"

and truly in 90% of the responses it's like people 1) didn't even understand what I was asking and just kept saying what they thought I should focus on. 2) were convinced they knew better than the actual person living those situations and 2) didn't even wanna respect the fact that I don't do things like they do and since I don't do what they do I must not know what I'm doing

is this how witchcraft communities are here? like is this how they operate? cause truly at this point I'm not even sure if i explain things well, if I'm the problem or if this is how things are on Reddit.

and it wasn't just new baby witches, it was people with years and decades into the practice.

again this isn't hate to anyone or drama, but I've been practicing for almost a decade and to go into a new space and only see this.... idk I'm also thinking that maybe since English is my second language and i don't know all the English terms since I read and practice in my native language as well. maybe what I say gets misunderstood?

I honestly don't know at this point so that's why I'm posting here

I have this friend group, 2 of us practise and 2 dont. one of the ones that don't (I'll call her J)had asked me for a spell some time ago and now she wants to redo it. the spell was for her ex gf, so she would reconsider giving the relationship a second chance (not carrying the relationship or anything just a push for a second chance)

my best friend's (not a practitioner) new girlfriend (I'll call H) is also a practitioner but she practices white magic

H believes that everything comes back, good and bad energy, she also believes that anything other than white/light magic weighs on U

which U know what valid and fair for Ur practice, don't speak on mine tho💀and don't express those as a generalised statement to J who has no idea of witchcraft and is quite scared of something going wrong

if J had U do the spells, yes sure she would be right to be scared but I AM DOING THE SPELLS based on my practice

and I love J but if I have to have another phone conversation with her about why what H said isn't applicable on my practice and try to explain witchcraft from the basics to a girl that has no clue I'm gonna scream

H is quite sensitive and particular about what criticisms she receives well, she has many issues and most of them mainly unmanaged. everything needs to be overly explained with therapy talk and I'm not gonna do that. she will also turn it into the "oh I was just explaining my side" argument and won't take it well if I insist that her way isn't the best way to express her side

J is one of the softest girls I know(personally wise) and I really don't wanna keep getting annoyed over her nagging since she has every right to be anxious as someone outside of the practice

till now(2 days) H has said to J:

*U need to get rid of the previous spell* no U don't💀

*did U do xyz before the spell? will U do xyz before the spell* no bec IM DOING THE SPELL? WHY WOULD SHE NEED TO DO ANYTHING💀

(xyz=some type of personal protection, divination on wether or not she ready rn to do the spell energy wise, and stuff like that)

*if I'm planning on checking the previous spell jar for signs of worn/bad energy* my spells don't use protections around them bec I used the energies around me, I don't banish the negative omes.

so without a spell trapping negative energy why would I need to check for negative energy?💀(H knows that about my practice)

and lastly *U losing the spell jar for some weeks was symbolic* losing the jar isn't symbolic unless 1)U remembered where U put it and it's not there or, 2)Ur someone who never forgets where they put stuff but U forgot now

J literally just forgot where she put it and she's someone who always forgets things, so no ITS NOT SYMBOLISM UR JUST READING INTO IT TOO MUCH💀(which is something H does)

so how do I tell her that? bec for the life of me I can't find a way to express this without sounding mad or condescending to H

and usually I wouldn't care when the wording of these "advices" looks so intentional and borders fear mongering but I don't want my best friend to have to deal with the aftermath of that

(Edit)

I realised some people may have misunderstood what I was asking advice on, all of the advice was good but some missed the mark and that's prob my mistake for not explaining correctly. So:

• J isn't disrespectful by asking questions • H also isn't disrespectful for asking questions • I don't have any issue telling them no when they ask

I had a talk with J about it and she told me that H did indeed stress her more than usual bec of the WAY she explained stuff about her practice compared to mine

The prob was and still is the fact that H is a new person to the group and bec (like the rest of us) she has many mental health issues, I don't know how to approach the "Ur practice is fear based and I don't want U to fear monger my friends when it comes to witchcraft just bec UR practice works like that. U need to explain it in a dif way" conversation😭 I'm not a professional and everyone would be sad if u told them "hey the new group ur a part of has complains" H also is actively working with my bff and helps them stay sober, my complaints aren't that important and I don't wanna rush into the conversation and risk creating tension when there are FAR more serious issues going on

Again thanks for anyone who already replied, I understand everyone's practice and life experiences are different and maybe that's why most comments focused on the "why are they asking questions" or on the boundaries aspect. Regardless I enjoyed all the comments and sorry if I came off argumentative Im just making conversation in the replies🙏🏼