u/jhnurse

Hi all

I’ve been WFH for 6 years and it’s been a huge blessing being home when my oldest is out of school, and when she gets home. However she was already in elementary school when I started WFH. I just had a baby and he will be starting daycare in a few weeks at 11 weeks old. Unfortunately my job is not one where I can care for him while I work, even just part of the day. I knew this from the time I got pregnant but I still can’t help feeling guilty about sending him so young. I have no village, my parents are dead. In home nanny’s are more than we can afford. My situation was completely different when I had my daughter in 2013 - I was able to stay home for a year and after that she was only cared for by my parents for a few hours a day in between me going to work and my husband getting home until she was in elementary school and went to extended day for just a couple hours a day. My postpartum has been brutal on my mental health and I cant help feeling like my baby boy is getting the short end of the stick. Would love some encouragement ❤️

Hi all

My little bub is starting daycare at 11 weeks old. We currently swaddle at home for all naps and night sleep with a miracle blanket swaddle (only one he cat break out of). Found out yesterday the center will only swaddle with arms out - apparently it’s a requirement for DCF in our state. I have 0 intention of trying to get him arms out ahead of the daycare transition as we are still in the thick of sleep inconsistencies at 8 weeks. But now I’m really worried about his daycare transition 😟

My 8 week old will start daycare at 11 weeks and part of me is looking forward to it. I feel horribly guilty for feeling this way and also guilty I have to send him. My first (12 year age gap) didnt have any child care outside of us and my parents for the first 3-4 years. I was able to stay home for a year + too. This time it is not an option. We’re happy with the daycare we chose - it’s only a mile from our home, came highly recommended. We both work from home so that does make it feel easier. We also decided to send him a week prior to me going back to work to let all of us acclimate to the change.

At the same time, this post partum period has been brutal for me. I’m working through PPD, the still very fresh grief of my mom passing when I was 30 weeks along, being older (I turned 40 this month), a first c-section and not being able to breastfeed like I did exclusively with my first and honestly some grief about our previous slightly more care free life. My little guy was also hard from birth which has made me feel like I have no idea what I’m doing vs feeling MORE confident as a 2nd time mom. To not have any space (or very little) to process all of this had been so incredibly hard. (I am seeing medical professionals for my ppd) I don’t have a village, especially with my mom gone. My dad passed when I was a kid and my siblings are all young or don’t live locally. Things have become easier for sure but I’m looking forward to having a small break and going back to work.

Am I messed up for feeling this way? Am I alone?

Contact naps are slowly killing me. 8 weeks today. I do enjoy the closeness but babe is swaddled and I’m stuck in his dark nursery for hours a day. He doesn’t like his stroller, car seat, or carrier. He will only nap with dark and white noise. I know that’s normal. But I’m starting to lose it just a bit. Wake windows are becoming clearer 1.25/1.25/1.25 then it gets a little fuzzy. He will nap anywhere from 30 min to 2.5 hours - he can go longer at times but we try to cap it so he gets enough to eat during the day and it doesn’t interfere with night sleep.

Anyway to the independent napping: I’m down to do the work but when we’ve tried in the past it’s often ended in disaster. We try in basinet soothing, picking up and soothing, rescuing the nap etc. it makes me so nervous to even attempt it and then another day goes by that I’ve felt isolated all day.

I go back to work in 4 weeks and he goes to daycare. I just don’t know what we’ll do if we don’t get this down somewhat and we spend every weekend contact napping.