Sudden anger
Hi friends, I usually post about my dad but now I'm having an issue with my mom.
Most of my life my mom was the nicest, most chill person ever. Like she would tell me to settle down when I got goad rage. She could always just roll with the punches. I was kind of a fup for a while when I was younger and she only got actually mad once. It was the worst time to do it because my legs literally were not working (it was psychological and strange) and it was the one time she put her foot down and said I was on my own. The hospital put me in a cab who literally dumped me in the gutter at a homeless shelter downtown at 11pm when they don't even take anyone in. Anyway just funny the one time I really was in trouble she abandoned me and chose that time to not. I straightened myself out.
But otherwise she was always positive and happy. Even though I know my brother is the favorite she didn't show it much. I was her first she just loved me a different way. Ok no more stories just know she was happy 99% of the time, except when my grandparents died and even then she was strong for us and dealt with it with a strong front.
But now. For the last couple of months, she is just angry all the time. More angry than I've seen anyone. I am disabled and live with her to help her out as well as helping me. It's literally walking on eggshells. You say something she can't hear, it's a 2 hour ordeal about how we don't respect her and we know she can't hear as well anymore.
If we're just talking she gets extremely angry if something confuses her and she accuses me of being confused and not speaking right and not making sense. Like I'll say "i was talking to Jenny and she..." and she'll get super nasty and say "who's she? I'm worried about you, you don't think right, how am i supposed to know who she is". Like she knows who Jenny is just using she throws her off even in the same sentence mom doesn't remember those words correlate.
If you start talking at the same time it's a half a day about how she's just going to move on her own because she's not allowed to speak in her own house. If you try and reason with her it just ramps up the anger to 1000. She watches and criticizes everything I eat and drink. I'm not overweight but used to be but I have several health problems (unrelated) and my doctor is fine with my diet. She has never ever been violent but two times in the last week I flinched and spilled a drink I was holding because she got so frustrated i honestly thought she was going to stab me (she raised her hand with the knife and I flinched and she lowered it) or hit me. Neither of us drink alcohol, by drink I just mean juice or something.
I've told her she needs help and she is going to the counselor in a few weeks. But she's not going to be honest because I think she doesn't even understand. I've read a lot about dementia but I went through that with her mom and don't see any of the symptoms grandma had and my grandma never got angry.
What should I do? This is a daily routine now. She'll get to the point she balls up her fists and says "please god why can't I just die" and repeats it over a few times. She's threatened self harm a couple times. I feel like I should call 911 when it gets that far or call the doctor she's going to see and tell her the reality because my mom can't or won't. I know they can't discuss because of hipaa I just want to make sure they are working with all the information.
Thanks for reading and appreciate any advice.