He would 'punish' me for saying things I didn't say!
It's been some months since I (F34) broke up with him (M40). I swing between being happy for my newfound freedom and being sad because I miss him. When the latter happens, I read my 'notes' on the emotionally and verbally abusive incidents that happened in those 6 months. I also go to specific dates in our chat history and read our conversation. To remind myself of how bad it really was just in case I start to focus on the few good times too much. Now I've noticed a pattern of sorts: He seemed to have a really fragile ego or thought very low of himself I guess? Because he was so sensitive to any perceived slight, would misunderstand what I said, take offense to it, start 'punishing' me (silent treatment, sulking, withdrawing affection and attention etc) for saying something I didn't say. When i tried to clear the misunderstanding, often even by pointing him to the exact words I used in text, he absolutely refused to accept my version, kept insisting I was lying about what I really meant, and continued to fight about it, not dropping it for ages after. Most of the times, I would end up apologising(almost immediately) just to keep the calm but that didn't work. It was almost like he didn't ever believe me when I said what I meant but preferred to attach his own meaning to my words so he could take offense to it and be mad at me. When I read these conversations, my body involuntarily reacts like I'm trapped and I can't breathe. Does anyone recognise this?