u/itsisaac36

This is something that I have been keeping for so long and recently I feel a lot more strongly about this, the idea of me not being straight. It is one of the things that I'm confused about myself, and a side of me that I am trying to deny and kept buried beneath me because I know that homosexuality is a sin and I can't be like that. Being the Youth Leader of the church does not help either I always feel like I need this feeling in me to be removed. The hardest part of this all is I am also imprisoned by the sin of masturbation, and the material that I am looking at whenever I do the deed are muscular men, it's even worse that I enjoy it but still feel the weight of what I did right after. I try to give and surrender this addiction to God but whenever I try to voice it out to God my mouth hesitates, I feel like there's something stuck in my throat whenever I do. I don't know what compelled me to post about something like this online and on this subreddit, I can't even talk about this with my friends and even my churchmates because i'm scared of what they'll say or think of me. I don't want to talk about this to my friends who are members of the LGBTQ community either because I feel like they'll encourage it more. Has anyone struggled with something like this in the subreddit, and if you did what has helped you conquer this feeling, I don't want to be homosexual, I always rebuke myself whenever I feel arousal towards muscular man or but I end up letting sin and temptation win over me.

Is it just me or biglang bumagal yung signal ng GOMO, I have 30gb non expiry data at meron pa naman akong 18gb remaining, suddenly sa buong lugar namin di ako makagamit ng internet kasi napakabagal ng data ko. Based ako around bataan. Kayo rin ba nakaka experience ngayon ng slow internet speed?