How to become emotionally distant
I feel we are heading towards divorce. We started marriage counseling but it may be too little too late. We have our 3rd appt. next week.
I am coming to realize that he will probably never emotionally show up for me in the way that I want and that he may genuinely be incapable. I need to start to emotionally distance myself from him. Neither one of us has had their needs met, likely for years.
I turn to him if I’m upset, or happy, or anything. I want to not text him throughout the day. I want to begin to emotionally shut those things down the way he has. I wish I had noticed it sooner. He hasn’t texted me throughout the day probably for a couple of years, but he used to. I keep acting like nothing has changed when everything has changed.
We have two young elementary aged children. We will have been married 11 years this year. I can’t block him because of the children.
He wants to coparent and live in the same home on different floors and stay together but separate finances. I want a partner and I want emotional support and I want everything that should be. I don’t think I can do what he is asking even if it makes the most sense financially. I don’t think I have it in me.
I need some kind of actionable advice on how to disentangle myself emotionally and start emotionally separating before we do the finances, bills, home sale, etc. We have been in this home 13 years and there is no way I could afford to keep it. The house has almost doubled in value.
I can’t afford to even get a 3 bedroom apartment in this area. Those go for more than my mortgage currently. I suppose any advice on fully disentangling our lives and finances would be welcome.