does anyone else like being in a relationship yet hate all the aspects around dating and inter-gender interaction
Before you comment “yes obviously there are other people who do” it’s just a post format to encourage people to discuss it with me, I don’t literally believe I am the only person like this
Like I hate “talking stages”, I hate flirting, I hate not knowing whether a man is attracted to me (especially because I was unattractive and isolated from boys for most of my life until I lost some weight and started wearing makeup), I hate the big song and dance and parade that is inter-gender interaction. I can happily be friends with and talk to men, I just hate any situation where attraction is expressed or implied. I feel so separate from this sexual world in which so many people seem to live, it’s like when you’re an immigrant among another culture. I can interact with it on a superficial level, I’m just never a true part of it (I know immigrants can adapt to another culture so the metaphor is imperfect, but in this scenario I’m like an immigrant who never adapts). I just don’t understand what it is about sex that drives and motivates people so strongly, that rules their lives, that gives them purpose. I have a couple male friends including one I had a romantic/sexual situation with and seeing the stuff he likes/reposts on ig (he’s not a misogynist he just spends a lot of time with girls) makes me feel insane because they’re pretty tame, I see other people talk like that as well so I know it’s not just him, and I almost feel disgusted by it. How do people enjoy this? How do people enjoy having “situationship drama”? Or the feeling of chasing someone else? Or walking into a room and deciding that they’re going to find someone to have sex with? How do people care so much about sex? I can’t comprehend it. The moment my thing with him started to fizzle out I realised I just wasn’t going to do it again because none of it was what I thought it was and ultimately he was very wise to the fact I cannot tell neither lies nor hyperbole from the truth. So I decided to separate myself from men because I don’t understand when they’re pretending they really like me as a person and when they actually do like me. I can have male friends and that’s it.
I genuinely feel like I’m missing the thing that makes you human the way everyone I talk to likes all of this and I don’t. Cause the worst part is I do enjoy being in a relationship and spending time with a man and being affectionate and doing stuff for each other. I just feel like as a woman with major deficits in understanding when someone is lying and being fucking terrible at interpreting body language I honestly just don’t want to try again. The small chance of a relationship is not worth the discomfort of having to remember how to make eye contact with a man who’s calculating the exact number of words he will have to say in order to see the ph bleaching on the lining of my thong.