Failed again at a new job, I ruin everything
I’ve had many jobs since I was 16, I always wanted to work because I like making money, but I always would quit after a couple months because I would gradually start hating work (even if I liked the job a lot) and eventually couldn't even get myself to walk in for my shift and I would quit on the spot. Now instead of after a couple months, it happens within 2 weeks of starting.
I’m 21 now and have a fiancé. He does everything for me, and he did everything to help me get to work. I started a new job last week and I liked it so much. But yesterday, only my 5th day, I got to work and immediately walked out and had a meltdown. I had to tell them I was sick and leave right after I got there. I meant to go today but I had a meltdown all morning for hours and just couldn't get myself to get ready. I had to call in. I didn't lose the job from that but there is no way I will be able to continue showing up to every shift.
Now my fiancé needs to get a second job, he was very sweet and helpful all morning but now he is very mad at me and rightfully so. He does everything, he works, does all the chores at home, takes care of my dog, and does everything for himself and almost everything for me. I want so badly to be helpful, I feel so guilty for not contributing like he does and I can't even do the bare minimum and just help make some money. We are barely making it by, now he has to work 2 jobs while I work 0 and do nothing to help at home. My fiancé and I love each other so much but my autism symptoms are too severe and I don't think I deserve a serious relationship like this, I love him so much but I am not capable of doing my part.